Spleen problems

Occasionally I have problems with my spleen; I have an auto-immune condition which is sometimes affected by the spleen.  In the past few days my spleen has been swollen again, this has meant that I have to be very careful about what movements I do and it also means I am in constant pain with it.

This is worrying for me, because I have minor surgery coming up in the end of July – it has nothing to do with the spleen.  But if it is still swollen by then, my surgery may be pushed back.

One of the major reasons why I can’t do much day to day is because of pain, some days are worse than others and sometimes the pain and swelling can mean I can’t move around much at all or even receive cuddles/hugs, because it could rupture the spleen unintentionally.

The swelling affects my posture and I hate poor posture!  It also means I find it hard to be in bed, because I can’t lay on my left side at all and I can’t have my ear drops when my ear infections are playing up (as I also have auto-immune inner ear disease) – it also means when I lay on my right side I can’t have my arm at my side like normal… you can imagine the discomfort I am in!

It has affected my ability to read large books, which is annoying because I was currently reading seven books and four of which are encyclopaedic in size!

It has also affected my appetite yet again, meaning I am eating even less than before, I can’t even manage a whole sandwich now!

On a positive note, it hasn’t yet affected my ability to write.

But it has put a stop to my new exercise regime and any ideas about helping Paul in the garden.

I thought, whilst my appetite was low anyway, I would take advantage of it and do some exercises to help tone myself up so I don’t get the dreaded loose skin problem, as I was quite chubby to begin with!

My spleen started to swell because I got cocky in my exercises and showed off to my house rabbit (of all people) that “look!  Mama can still belly dance after all these years”! And I set my spleen off again and it swelled up over the course of a few hours after its initial bang of pain!

I miss belly dancing, it was really good exercise for the tum and made me feel sexy for a change!

So at the moment my family and I are living in constant fear that my spleen might rupture at any moment.

Thought we’d give you all the heads up!

I will try and keep you posted on my condition.

Thanks for reading!

P.S the post about the minor surgery was written a couple of weeks back and at the moment the surgery is still on. As I said, its nothing to do with the spleen, it is another matter.

Minor surgery in July and a caution…

I am having minor surgery in the last week of July, so for around three days I may not be quite myself – I don’t do well under anaesthetic, so unless I have scheduled posts for then, I might be quiet at the end of July and beginning of August.

I have breathing problems and being on my back can worsen this, because of my sinus issues and the fact that it is likely to be the hottest time of the year too – meaning, I don’t breathe well in the summer anyway… so I am more than a little worried about even such a minor procedure like what I am having… I don’t want to discuss what I am having done, but it is enough for me to go under general, it is worrying.

But because I have been in a state of apathy for the last eight years about being alive, I kind of have a MEH attitude to whether or not it’s serious or not.  In other words, I am not entirely out of the woods for being suicidal, so if I die during it, I don’t care… but I care about the poor doctor who is having me under the knife and I care for my son who will be left behind, because he can’t cope with life at the moment as it is and has been needing a lot of mental health charities himself to get him through the year so far.

So it’s not the matter that I don’t want to die on the table – it’s the matter of, I don’t want people to suffer when I do.

This sets me apart from those people who readily curse others in their lives – it’s not the person you hate that gets the brunt end of that sort of thing – it’s the collateral damage left behind after you succeed with it, with other people in their lives, who you have hurt with your actions!

Think about that…

Karma will balance you out; based on what you do and how many people are affected positively or negatively with what you have done!

It’s not just between you and your victim, you know?

Happy reading…

P.S this is just one or two predicted surgeries for the coming year.