The workings of my brain

So I demanded room for my writing in the house, away from all of the noise and I have won; I have said this before, but I am proud of this little victory, it means a lot to me and my writing.

I have made peace with my body too, I am no longer trying to control its habit of dominating me but now working along with it, going with the flow; I’ve learned to go with the flow because my Chinese astrological sign is the water dog, when I go against the flow I get into all sorts of problems.

So instead of forcing my body and mind to do things it doesn’t want to do, I have decided to see what my body wants from me instead. 

So, when my brain is most likely to be active creatively, instead of forcing myself to stay asleep or go to bed at a semi-reasonable time; I have decided to let my brain do what it needs to do in order to get things done. 

Doing things this way has proven that I am losing the habit of procrastination, because I am not using up my energy fighting against my flow.

This is all well and good, but when I have deadlines to fulfil for my publishers in the future, how will I fare then?  My brain has to get used to the idea of doing some things it doesn’t like at times that might not be suitable for it.

So far this week I have started to write as soon as Paul goes to bed, this is the best time for me, because once Paul is in bed, the whole household is still and quiet – except for me, I look like a ferocious grim reaper tapping away at night in dim light with the strange gnarls of steampunk in the background.

It is autumn and I am getting cold in the night, so I am wearing hooded navy blue fleece pyjamas, with the hood up and a hot water bottle stuffed up my vest.

A grim reaper using Morse code to contact the dead or at least that’s what comes to my mind when I see myself in the mirror as I glance up.

Half in my bed with a little adjustable table, typing away; with ten books at the foot of my bed and a note pad, chamomile or green tea at the side table and the sound of a windy steampunk world all around me; it is as cosy as it sounds, or weird, whatever your persuasion.

I love my space.

I fought hard for this space and it is pretty here, the best room in the house.

I have a trio of different coleus plants in a huge pot in the window with a crystal hanging down at the centre catching rainbows to throw at me as I work during the day; because sometimes I do write during the day, usually around 1pm to 3pm as that’s the quietest time of day for me when Henry is at school and lunch is done.

I have my purple fleece blanket, my Alice in Wonderland and dragon collection all around me – to see my bedroom you’d think I was a teenager; you know, that girl from the movie Labyrinth Sarah? My room is like a homage to the movie, with the Brian Froud artwork here and there and the amount of fair folk and goblin books I have in the room, you wouldn’t know I am forty tomorrow.

Yes, I am forty tomorrow.

So that’s when my life is going to start, I’ve always planned it.

Just because tomorrow I will be forty and my life starts doesn’t mean I will grow up however, I will never grow up and you can’t make me!  I will still keep my strange and dorky childish things and I will still lack a sense of responsibility and I will always need a daddy figure in my life.

I won’t change that about me, it’s something I made peace with a long time ago and it is the thing about me that I am most proud of, more proud than any of my accomplishments to date.

Strange I know, but at least I know who I am and who I want to be in the future.

I didn’t choose to lock away my childishness because it didn’t suit other adults around me, I didn’t choose to lie to myself and regret it for the rest of my life.

I chose to be me, the best and most honest version of myself possible.

But I digress.

My post was about what my brain gets up to, or at least that’s what I think this post is about?

My brain is the most creative between 8pm and 6am, but I tended to try and relax with books or YouTube from midnight until I sleep around 3am, just because it’s more reasonable than sleeping at 6am.

So I thought, OK, give into the brain and work as soon as Paul goes to bed at 10:30/11pm and write until 6am, but get this… my brain works only until around 2am before it actually decides it is sleepy now.  It never does that.

In giving into my brains demands, I am now sleeping three or four hours earlier than when I chose to ignore it – are you baffled by this?  I know I am!

Though saying that, twice this week I have woken up because my brain had a random idea I had to write down – but ultimately, I am sleeping earlier and longer.

My brain is a funny old thing.

You know if something is complicated I will breeze through it, if it’s easy I fail.

Take eggs on toast for example, I burn the toast and break the egg yolk with egg shell in it, but make me do cakes, soufflés, pies and whatever I am a champion in the kitchen!

I am the same with sawing wood, it takes me twenty minutes to cut an inch into the wood with a saw, but I can carve any piece of wood into a pretty statue if you give me a whittling knife!

Don’t ask, because even I don’t get it.

Well, there you are an introduction to the ways and habits of my brain – I hope you enjoyed the somewhat weird insight.

Thanks for reading!