Starving fat girl

What did I mean in the former post about “problems starting up again”?

Ok, well I have an undiagnosed digestive problem, IBS and IBD of unknown causes, where sometimes my body swells and shrinks day to day.  Sometimes it mostly affects my spleen, where my spleen will swell and become painful and pushes against the stomach a lot, so I can’t keep food down even if I push myself to eat that day.

Consequently I have been having issues with malnutrition, because I have days like this at least three times a week on average!

Just because I am fat, doesn’t mean I am actually eating anything!

It can be quite bad, like yesterday where I wake up and the first thing that happened immediately after I drank a small sip of water was to bring that up with bile.  I know it sounds disgusting and it is!  But this is what I have been living with for years and there are two reasons why it’s been left undiagnosed.

One major reason is we can’t afford the taxi fare to go to appointments about it and secondly the hospital we go to is in so much debt that they are reluctant to help anybody unless its life or death and we can’t afford to go further afield.

I take omeprazole since I was pregnant with Henry, because for some reason or another, after I gave birth to Henry my body didn’t rebalance itself again like it should have. So I am prone to heart burn.

Whenever I do manage to eat, I can’t move around or go for a walk for around twenty minutes, just to make sure it says down.  Any physical movement after a meal can make me purge.  Which makes quick lunches in town, near impossible!

My doctor knows I want to lose weight and he is a little anxious I am trying to exercise when I have these nutritional problems right now.  He told me that I probably wouldn’t be so big if my body wasn’t constantly in starvation mode; my body is storing anything it can get its hands on and I have a lot of water retention too which is affecting circulation.  I am constantly cold.

My doctor has urged me to go private if I can, but we just can’t do that.

He has sometimes wondered if it is an imbalance of friendly gut bacteria, because he learned once that my mother was known to be so OCD in cleaning, that sometimes she would add a tiny dash of bleach to our vegetables when she washed them!

I did find a marked improvement in keeping food down after several weeks of adding fermented foods to my diet, but because our benefits got cut we could no longer afford to maintain that diet for me. 

We still are clueless about it all and only time will tell, what it is.  Soon Paul retires and so our money will improve a little, but as we’re separating soon, who knows what is going to happen with all this!

All I know is, I rarely eat breakfast, I have lunch occasionally, I always eat a dinner and I have a snack a couple of hours before bed.  I struggle most days to eat more than a whole “normal” sandwich in one sitting.

So get the idea out of your head that all fat people constantly eat, because in my case it’s simply not true!

I think the biggest meal I can regularly eat at the moment is a 3 egg scramble with a single toasted bagel and a banana right after it!  That to me is a huge meal!

I practically live on that every two days; because it’s something I can keep down.  I also drink a large glass of cranberry juice for the vitamin C.  Because my doctor said that three eggs in one day is all the vitamins and minerals your body needs except for vitamin C, which you can’t get from eggs.  So I do this, because its really high in protein and it’s got everything I need in it!

Occasionally my late night snack, which is around 9pm are usually two or three roasted chicken legs, a tuna bagel or a fruit salad.

Yesterday all I managed to eat was vegetable soup, three slices of bread, a banana and 2 oat biscuits in the whole day. Very low in protein unfortunately, because I had too much pain and struggled to keep things down.

Thanks for reading!

Leave a comment

Filed under About Me

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.