Celebrating the fact that Henry has had two full days at school this week!
It’s becoming a rarity, but I hope it’s going to change a bit – Henry has come home a little bit anxious because a new supply teacher was rude and apparently mean to him and several other children; but Henry is a lot like his mum, in that sometimes in stressful situations we forget the words but remember the actions, if you get me? So Henry can’t relay exactly what was said.
Thankfully nothing came of this meningitis presumption – I am so happy and relieved about that!
Henry is at his youth club tonight for three hours, so I have plenty of time to get to write something today, I am going to do it, though I had only three hours sleep last night and I have big dark circles around my eyes that make me look like I have been in a fist fight with a kangaroo!
I am having a lot of weird and heavy dreams at night in the past few weeks, even in short sleeping bursts like last night.
Two days ago I had a dream about three candles being lit that were a brownish colour, that had red and white wax melting inside of it, which was weird and on one of the three candles were two rings – like non gem wedding and eternity rings.
There was a hooded red figure discussing what to do with the candles and they were slightly frustrated but still patient with me, because I kept moving the candles around and blowing the flames out and relighting etc.
There were other people at the table, just one man and one other woman; they all had their own candles. The man found me amusing somewhat and tried to advise me a little, but the woman looked at me in disdain and thought I was an idiot.
I remember taking the rings off one of the candles and I was told not to do that yet, be patient – so I put them back.
I was a little tensed and confused in the dream and felt like a naughty hyperactive child and ended up trying to sit on my hands or twiddle my thumbs whilst sitting there clueless about what’s happening – the other two, seemed to know what was what, but I didn’t.
I woke up and did a tarot and oracle reading about what the dream meant and like a fool I didn’t consider it had anything to do with a new relationship or marriage – but my cards dropped a marriage card, a ring card, a love card, as well as a diamond in my usual 3 card reading – these cards dropped on the 3 I had already chosen and I thought that this was weirdly significant and related to each other too spookily well. The oracle cards I used have 200 cards and are the Tea Leaf fortune cards, so to get all the indicators for marriage or new relationship like that was just so random and weird to me!
The three cards I pulled out in the normal manner were the firecracker card, the handshake card and the broom card.
The meaning of the above according to this oracle is;
Firecracker = Excitement
Handshake = A meeting with a stranger could be important.
Broom = New home, new attitude
The other fallen cards just speak for themselves, its weird how mindless I can be during dream time and interpreting things – I suppose it’s because it was a dark room lit by candlelight and the rings didn’t look like jewellery to me, they looked like metallic black, if you get my drift? A little darker than hematite.
Last night’s dream was weirder and extra spooky because of events that took place when I woke up.
I dreamt I was at a ballroom again, this is a common dream I have, it is in the same building and room where I have those sorts of dreams and it isn’t a real place I’ve ever been to or seen on TV.
Like usual in those dreams I seem to have a completely different family to my physical real family, they’ve been in and out of dreams for years – it’s almost like I slip into a parallel world when I sleep at night.
Anyway in that dream I was wearing a golden dress with a sun like piece of jewellery just above the navel, it was hooked onto the dress like a brooch.
I was just standing around when a gentleman comes over – the usual dream guy in fact, though this time he is slightly different facially, not much, but slightly showing some facial hair like he is growing a beard and moustache but it’s the early stages. He had red decoration on his chest and wore his black suit; though it was different it was far more formal than usual.
He took me to a balcony and we talked a bit, then he went to my dream parents and they exchanged to him some black scarf or wide set ribbons, unsure what they were really and they placed them upon a staff – I think it was a staff anyway.
Then he came to me and we spent time together and then the scarves were tied like bangles around my wrist, it wasn’t bondage. But in the dream people who saw us when we went back into the ballroom started to become excited and throw confetti or something like that at us.
It felt very similar to a private 121 hand fasting experience, if you understand me?
A sort of mini pagan wedding that hadn’t been officiated properly yet – this was like the first stage, I understood in the dream.
As I am writing this there is a weird pressure on my third eye – very odd.
Anyway, when I woke up I found lots of small pieces of torn up paper around the bed and on the bed, like someone had thrown confetti on me in the night, in fact it’s why I woke up – I felt a piece hit me on the head, but no one in the house was a awake to have done it, I checked.
All I know is as I woke up, I heard a voice say – quick, she’s stirring!
I’m either losing my marbles or things are stranger than I thought about this world!
It’s weird because traditionally scarves and ribbons in weddings are usually red in certain cultures, but these were definitely black. What is weird is the guy had something red on him, but not sure what.
This is one of the reasons I didn’t sleep well last night – because when I woke up and went to the bathroom the house started to wake up around twenty minutes later and I decided to stay awake until I got dozy and had a two hour nap in the late morning.
It’s really eating away at me all these strange things – but at least those last two dreams were more pleasant than other dreams I’ve had this past month.
I have had awful dreams before them – Warning content needed here…
There was a baby I found that looked weak and ill and I wrapped it up in a blanket to look after it, the baby spoke to me and told me how I could find his mother and so I took him to her and she was working at a food van. When I passed the baby to her, she snapped at me and said, put him on the counter there, I will sort him out later. When I put the baby onto the counter he turned into a huge burrito and the lady grabbed the burrito, cut it in half and offered it back to me, which I declined!
Another one was a true out and out nightmare, I was escaping from some sort of prison and I managed to get out with the help of the dream guy. But he needed to act as decoy to get someone away from me, but unfortunately whilst he was away my mother crept up behind me and cut out of my kidneys and ate it raw in front of me.
When I woke up my back hurt a lot.
Loads of other dreams similar to these, but there is a horrible dream that keeps repeating lately and that is my rabbit Ray, being turned out into the garden in a small tight hutch and it falls into a muddy pond drowning him or there is a flash flood that sweeps him away.
Don’t know why I am having a lot of disturbing dreams late; usually dream time is a sanctuary.
I am worried about my lack of sleep, my light sleeps when I do sleep and the fact that lately I am struggling to eat more than 900 calories a day. I’ve had two days in the past two weeks where I ate around 1400 but it’s much less than that recently and consistently.
I am getting pain whenever I eat anything bigger than half a sandwich which makes me stop eating a full meal. I don’t eat breakfast and rarely have lunch, I have one or two snacks in a day, with a quarter of a plate for dinner if it’s a good day.
Paul is more than a little worried about it.
Yesterday was a goodish day, I had a tuna bagel with mayonnaise and chives and I had a ham & cheese salad sandwich and a packet of crisps for the whole day. Unfortunately that’s too much gluten for my body, so my abdomen is a little swollen today, but it’s not painful.
Sometimes my chest gets bad the next day after I have more than a little of gluten and sometimes depends on how much gluten I have, my abdomen will swell like I’m pregnant or something, weird.
It’s much worse with soy and mustard, because with those two my spleen swells as well as my abdomen and there is intense pain!
Right so, an hour into writing this, I have warmed up enough to get back onto my project AD for the evening, I still have an hour and twenty minutes before they come home approximately.
Thanks for reading!