Quiet festive greetings

I am going to be doing short posts between now and the 2nd January, sorry about that.

Have a lovely Christmas everyone or Hanukkah or both, if you are like me and raised in a multi-faith family – though I’ve never experienced a proper Hanukkah, only had some food from relatives occasionally from the occasion. Because mum shyed away from it a lot.

I think the most memorable food I remember getting from a Jewish relative this time of year was salted potato skins made very crispy, loved them! Also butter cookies with apple, pear and fig chutney, which seems to be a family staple on that side too for both occasions as well as copious amounts of toffee!

Thank for reading and have fun!

Merry Christmas everyone

Have a very Merry Christmas everyone!

Love you!

Remission, weight loss and dreams

It may have been a long remission between Easter and last week, because for the past few days I have been sleeping a lot and finding things a little difficult again.

My immune system has taken a massive hit and I feel like I have influenza but there is no temperature and not much else of the normal flu like symptoms.  The brain fog is coming back, the depression is hitting hard again and then the washing machine breaks down two days ago and it needs replacing.

The asthma has got a bit worse too, but it’s the feeling that I am turning into stone or lead I can’t get over – every limb feels weighted. 

Very sleepy is not a good description really – I kind of feel like I am going into a hibernation period, if you get my drift?  But what is weird about that is the fact that I can’t seem to sleep at night.

My appetite has stayed much the same, not eating much at all, so the idea of gaining weight over Christmas is silly as I seem to be losing up to two pounds a week still or not moving on the scales at all.

I found a local gym for £8.75 a week membership, I can afford that with my personal allowance and I will be signing up for the membership around the end of January, to help me tone up – my upper arms in particular as they are the only things which don’t seem to be doing what the rest of my body is doing… losing inches and toning up.  They are a good gym to go to because they specialise in helping people who have long-term health problems or are morbidly obese, which I need because I have asthma and a couple of auto-immune problems, one of which is rheumatic arthritis.

It’s exciting to note that I have lost ninety six pounds over a year now without much effort, now let’s take it up a huge notch!  I am not that far off from my goal weight and with this gym membership I should reach my goal weight before July with any luck – at least I haven’t been on the morbidly obese scale for a while now- In fact I remember a time where I was a horrifying 56 on the BMI scale that was nearly two years ago!  No, this wasn’t the reason I was bedbound either, the bedbound came first and this kind of obesity was caused by that!

How did I manage that?

Simple!

I was a highly active person who walked an average of nine miles a day amongst lots of other exercises and physical activities, needing to eat an average of four thousand calories a day just to sustain myself or collapse – to becoming a severely ill and bedbound person literally overnight, but never readjusted my diet, until three years later when it dawned on me what the heck I was doing!

I had such spleen pain and constant chest infections for nearly eight years solid, the amount of times I was diagnosed with pneumonia too, I couldn’t move because the spleen was too swollen and I was literally advised to do nothing in case it ruptured!  NHS overstretched before covid even existed and so operating wasn’t an option given to me! 

Especially as I was eating my feelings when the depression stepped in, meaning I was over doing food on a massive scale for someone who was extremely sedentary!

It wasn’t until around three years ago that I realised when I am having an angry or a depressing day, I go to food again for comfort, I realised this is a base instinct we all have; why?  Because as animals we would take our anger and frustrations out on other animals and bite them and attack them, but as humans have learned to civilise ourselves somewhat we suppress our anger and food is the substitute for the primordial release for biting!

So when you feel depressed, sad or angry get yourself chewing gum – believe me, it works – only I find it hard to have gum these days because most of it contains soy and soy is really bad for my spleen issue.

Around four years ago was the time I had a completely free from diet, no eggs, no gluten, no lactose, no soy and a mostly paleo diet.  This helped a lot with the breathing problems and the swollen spleen, eventually I learned that I could eat almost anything without pain but there was something still off – occasionally my spleen would swell again and it took until earlier this year to find out what was doing it… mustard and soy. 

Now I am not on a free from diet anymore, but I have to avoid soy and mustard, or the spleen swells up again and my asthma has a bad day – unfortunately most of my favourite foods contain them, as I especially love mustard!  So suffering is a choice now – which I don’t choose often! 

Not a lot of people who are recently acquainted with me take me seriously about how much I understand nutrition and exercise since they’ve always known me to be this size.  But in actuality, I am really switched on, because I used to be very athletic and I can name in approximation the calorie worth and nutritional value of most foods.

But for some people they can’t understand that if you know all of this, then why did you allow yourself to get so fat?

Because if you live a certain lifestyle for too long, then you become ill where the physical aspect changes but not the food – you can see how this is easily done.  But people will be people and some people are morons and don’t use their head on this kind of stuff!

I remember a time where my doctor suggested my diet was too healthy, too low on salt, too low on fats and too low on calories, that I was blacking out three times a week on average and going into severe full bodied cramps.  Because of lack of electrolytes as I didn’t add salt to anything and I had a low fat diet which was mostly vegetable based.   I remember having to keep a food diary constantly and keep every nutrient in mind and I remember having to rush out to McDonalds at random times throughout the week to get the high fat, high salt and calorific food I needed because I didn’t have time or the wherewithal to eat a large meal, so I had to opt for big macs as a dietary supplement.  A weird contrast to my life now!

No, I do not miss it, because I didn’t enjoy having to do those things – what I do miss is the health and fitness I used to have and the energy I had as well as the body.

In the future, I am hoping to get all that back again, only this time I am going to be smarter, no big mac supplements anymore – I have a weight lifting professional friend who had the same problem, only she supplements the low salt problem not with crisps and salted fries or peanuts, like I did – but as adding rehydration salts to every bottle of water she drinks!

At the time I knew I was a protein type metabolism but I didn’t fully understand it as much as I do now and I never knew you could get really nice protein drinks to get what you need in per day.  I was literally trying to stuff down copious amounts of chicken and fish every day into my system – another thing which will change in the future.

You see, back in the good old days of when I was active, I was active alone and without a fitness network, so I was literally clueless and often had stomach ache and a bulimic reaction to the food I needed to eat.

You live, you learn.

Paul and I are still living together but we are separated, still he is trying to support me the best he can with the diet I need.  He has told me that our finances are better than we used to have as we are now being supplemented now he is retired, which means I can see the doctor more often and the diet can improve slightly.

In March my own personal finances will have doubled for me, which means I could also supplement myself too – so I should be losing the weight much faster soon.  I will get back on it all after Christmas, properly.  

Calorie, protein and nutritional monitoring that is, as well as signing up for the local gym classes!

My self-employment should be kicking off around March too, so hopefully I will earn enough to consider moving out of Paul’s by the end of summer, maybe – who know?  I can’t see me living alone to be honest, but there you go!

I don’t do New Years resolutions, so please don’t take all of this as that!

My second biggest dream right now is to rediscover my inner pride and vanity! 

When I was healthy and fit, there were a lot of people who said all I needed to do was dye my hair blond and get a Chihuahua and I’d be like Paris Hilton in my style!  I was offended, because what’s wrong with a brunette?  Though I like the idea of platinum hair! 

Though maybe they were just on about how much I love pink and fluffies? 

My first biggest ever dream I’ve had forever now, is to find someone who genuinely loves me and wants to keep me, build a family with me, push me to be the best that I can be and we motivate each other like live in life coaches!  Along with this the person has to tolerate that I can be suffocating with how I love them and hands on with them, because I am just like that!  I am like Elmira from Looney Tunes – but they also have to tolerate eccentricities, daydreams and creative pursuits as it’s all a huge part of who I am!  Please also, the person must understand I am very childish – I am overly playful and I am not too responsible really.  I am such a hedonist to be honest!

My third ever dream is not what you think it is either… nope… no, it’s not really anything to do with my stories or art – it’s having a great home and social life. 

The stories becoming movies is really a fourth dream… shock horror… I know!

I kind of kept that a secret as I kind of wore this with shame for a while – but I am starting to release the true me and I have to be honest with you as much as myself now, don’t I?

I feel bad admitting that actually.

I am still writing, don’t fret!  I am just not all that bothered in giving boring details about word count anymore, because nobody really cares enough to comment unless they are a troll who moans about how often I update word counts!

But meh – I always lacked structure anyway, I say I intend to write one novel but I end up writing a little towards twenty and so…. I am learning to become at peace with me and the way I am… so should you!

But project AD and the Easter project are the main focuses for me right now, even if I only write about twice a week on both of them – at least its progress!  You have to remember I have lots of other projects on the go too!

I know lots of people are eager to get their hands on project AD and this is why I am writing this as fast as I can, because I know there are a lot of people in waiting over it. 

I just got to get it out there anyway, because it’s a great story and I am very excited for it.  I am seeing merchandise in my head already; it will be a great new toy brand in my opinion as it is a dystopian comedy for kids.

But the Easter project is also gripping me a lot too with so many amazing ideas I am literally bursting to share them with someone but scared I’d shoot myself in the foot if I did!

So that’s what’s happening in my life right now.

Thanks for reading!

Suffering & tragedy

So, I have been freezing my butt off for nothing!

No progress whatsoever, the green tea with turmeric and cinnamon is disgusting and I have suffered for two weeks for nothing!

Why do I say that?

Because for some reason or another, I haven’t lost or gained not even an ounce of weight for two whole weeks!

Grumpy about it?  Not half!

The whole idea of developing brown fat to lose weight is utter tosh!

Before all these stupid new ideas, I was losing a steady two to three pounds a week and I got cocky thinking, it will be faster doing these hair-brained ideas… no, a complete stall!

Not happy at all!

To top it all, I have a raging sore throat and bronchitis so I haven’t been able to exercise for ten days either and now Christmas is around the corner!

I have until the 21^st December then I am on cheat system till the 2^nd January, because I don’t want a sucky Christmas – I am expecting a two pound gain, but not happy about it – but going back to my old system that’s easily lost in a week!

So shoot me, it’s Christmas!

I am crying and praying for a good friend of mine who is in ICU right now, so now is not the time to get on my case. 

We’ve been through some hard times together, though we haven’t physically seen each other since I was a teenager; we still spoke on LinkedIn now and again and it’s going to really hurt if she doesn’t pull through, really hurt a lot!

She said she was going be my wing girl when I become a famous bestselling writer and although we don’t talk much these days, I don’t know what I will do without her!

Get well love!  XXX

Thanks for reading!

Personal events of 2022

I had taken up a new protein diet and exercise regime, which worked well.

I have lost 93 pounds of weight since last year and hoping to lose another 50 pounds to reach the goal ideal weight for me by July 2023.

I have unfortunately lost three relatives this year, two due to Covid, as well as a family friend.

I have made some good close online friendships with other creative people.

I have broken up from a long-term relationship and I am now single.

My son has been officially diagnosed with autism on a mild spectrum.

I am no longer on a free from diet, because we have learned I had problems with mustard and soya.

One of the debts I had has now been paid off, that debt was due to paying things off from Christmas 2017, when the government cut our money unexpectantly by £200 just 3 weeks before Christmas!

Thanks for reading and being with me throughout the year!

Library

I will not be attending the library until after Christmas now, because it is difficult to wear a mask with a chest infection.

Paul and Henry will be going around noon Saturdays for me, as I am still getting books from there, as a couple have been put on order for me.

Looking forward to reading Stephen King’s Fairy Tale and a couple of others.

Thanks for reading.

Tree is up

Well the Christmas tree has been put up and the lights are on it, but we haven’t put anything else on it yet and nor have we done anything else anywhere else around the house – why?  Because I am not in top form, a chest infection started a couple of days back and my insomnia is worse over it.

One good thing about it though is that it is not Covid, just the regular winter bronchitis I think.

I am just not functioning right now – it’s cold around the house and I am stuck in one room because it’s warmer there.

Even if I did venture downstairs, now the Christmas tree is up I couldn’t access my desktop computer if I wanted to and I won’t be able to until January 5^th now.

So here I am, stuck in my bedroom every day between now and then.

I can’t say I am thrilled about it.

Life was boring before this but now it’s almost got to the point of… why exactly do I exist again?

Thanks for reading.

What is Christmas to me?

December the 1^st is the day that Christmas begins for me, maybe someday it will be earlier, who knows?  I’ve had inklings since I was a child, I would end up in the US at some point in my life – it’s something I have always wanted in any case, but never had the opportunity to go through with it. 

I have in actuality had four opportunities, but… well you know about my life enough by now to guess what may have happened to those opportunities, huh?

Well anyway, who knows?

For now, it’s unacceptable for Christmas to start before the 1^st December in the UK here by some people and over half of the population thinks it’s unreasonable a week before Christmas!  But hey ho, I am not part of the grumpy bums of the British public; I am one of those annoying jolly types!

So for me, it starts Christmas 1^st – I mean December the 1^st, how many times do I need to clarify that?  For goodness sakes woman, get on with your post!

Righto!

December the first is when I start putting up the decorations, especially the tree; I have to get it up by then, it simply has to be erected and decorated!  The tree dear, the tree!

I love my bright shining balls just dangling there in the right light – please get your minds out of the gutter, really… think of the children!

But honestly it isn’t the start of Christmas really… I hadn’t thought this post out properly have i?

Because a few days before Halloween is when we make the Christmas cake and the mincemeat for the mince pies, because we have to let it soak in the brandy and mature enough to be just right for Christmas day!  Hmm… yes, forgot about those!  Oh and the Christmas pudding that nobody, including me likes!

I also start buying presents around July to store away – so technically for six months of the year my brain is in Christmas mode.

Ultimately it’s unacceptable to play Christmas music before the 1^st December, that’s my thoughts on the matter!

I am going to talk right now like I have no poverty issues whatsoever, because Christmas here sucks – I am talking about all the things I loved about Christmas before I came here and all the things I was excited to share with my children when I have Christmas with a family, but most things never turned out – basically, I am going to write this with as little bitterness as possible… if that is possible, as these days I am finding it hard to hold my tongue!

Write mummy a Christmas list in July, review it in October and write it again by your deadline the 7^th December or you are going to be disappointed is my rule to Henry!

Think of anything after the 7^th December too bad… well… maybe, but you can’t send it to Santa his inbox is closed after the 7^th!

Shh, they don’t need to know otherwise!

I am also very good at talking about things with kids around at this time of year, when I accidentally blurt out a tradition like that and a friends kid writes their list on Christmas Eve because their parents have memorised everything they’ve nagged for weeks – I sit there and change my tune instantly with… but you see the deadline is different regarding postcodes, you see… you don’t live around here, you live there… different rules in different locations love!  Wink to the parent, she winks back and carries it over!

I love kids!

So, we buy edible advent calendars before the 1^st December, I have one too, because I never grew up and you don’t want to hear my reaction if you tell me to grow up either and don’t you dare try and sneak my candy away from me and trick me into absent minded eating either, not if you are fond of living!

But that’s not all, you see, because I am crazy and excessive at this time of year, especially when it comes to children I love and adore and worship!

I make little felt stockings with numbers on them and shove them with mini gifts as another advent calendar – before we hit poverty it used to cost me £200 alone for just that!   We did it one year, when I won 3k on the bingo, Henry was 6yrs old, it was the year too, when I bought him a Pendolino train-set.

Spoil my kids?  Not enough!  Not by my standards anyhow!

I also like homemaking things a lot between the 1^st and Christmas Eve. 

So, with that done – we then don’t do anything much until the 12^th December – when I started the wrong tradition of singing the 12 days of Christmas with Henry every day after dinner, leading up till Christmas.  Only to find out two years ago that I got the days wrong and it is supposed to be sung from Christmas day until the 5^th January, which is the twelfth night.  Ho-hum… so we go for round two by then, don’t we, now?

Paul has tried hard to make me only have one round –the right one, since finding it out, but Henry and I won’t have it!

It’s also tradition for me to constantly be on the lookout for new Christmas tree decors the whole month too and add them to the tree every so often as well as adding candy canes and chocolates to the tree whenever I like and yes, some days, not every day, I will allow Henry to choose a treat from the tree after dinner!

We also have instilled impeccable self-control in Henry over the years, where he knows there is only 1 gift coming from Santa and it’s usually the thing he wants the most or the rarest thing he could ask for – this means whenever a new present is bought it is wrapped and put under the tree until Christmas Day – Henry is really good at not trying to peak! 

However, Ray the rabbit is a menace when he is out at this time of the year and we have to barricade the tree because he thinks all the presents are for him!

Oh and that’s another thing, every pet has their own stocking too!

We only go to the local church for three reasons at Christmas, that is to see them put the village Christmas tree lights on, to go to the Christmas fetes or fairs they do and to gift to the shoebox appeal or food banks, if it hasn’t been a bad year for us!

When I lived in London it as quite common for my paternal family to do a lot of charity work around these times, as my family on this side are descendants from the people who founded the Salvation army! So a lot of relatives are involved in that particular charity as musicians and fundraisers. Three of my aunts were also fundraising performers over the years for them. Also my great grandmother was a general for the Salvation army for a time!

My father’s family are very into the charity mindset and I was raised to be that way too there is always someone worse off than you, no matter how poor you are, you have to try your best to still help others!

We are struggling this year, but its not our worse year – we have so far managed to donate three items of food for a food bank and we are hoping to gift at least £5 of our budget to help other worse off locals this year! Meagre, I know but we can’t afford much else!

Paul has always been frightened if I were to become a best-selling author and became quite wealthy due to my writing, that I’d go overboard with the giving, but I am not stupid! He knows I call him a Grinch!

The Winter Solstice is celebrated in this house too, with a special three course meal normally, but this year things are tight and that’s unlikely to happen! 

Christmas Eve is the busiest time of the year or was until the family that liked us, dropped us… because every Christmas Eve we are so busy baking home goods for the next two days, that we can’t waste time or space in the oven to cook our dinner – so being it was the time that we had a lot of guests, we used to put on a huge buffet table and snack on that all day and guests were welcomed to do so too!

Since nobody visits anymore there isn’t a point in doing that, so now it become a boring rush to the fish and chip shop!

I want my Christmas Eve buffets back!

Christmas Eve around 7pm we have a special movie we never miss – it’s a sin to miss that movie!  We simply must watch The Muppets Christmas Carol, It can’t be watched any other day in the month – because of the song “After all, there’s only one more sleep till Christmas”.  After we have watched the movie it’s off to settle things down before Henry goes to bed! 

This is where I would make a special magick concoction with my cauldron (yes I have one of those) filled with porridge oats, silver foil stars and edible glitter and pieces of dried carrot and I will say an incantation as this is the magic dust that attracts Santa’s reindeer!

Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!

On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donner and Blitzen!

Come and bring Santa on the sleigh tonight

Bring with you Rudolph and his nose for light!

Yeah I know my version sucks – but the kids love it and I got the whole village doing this since Henry told them about it at nursery when he was 4yrs old!

Henry also knows about the magical flying donkey the Italians have and asked why Dominic isn’t up there with the reindeer, I say it’s because he is a spare in case anyone is sick!  That keeps him happy!

So we sprinkle this magic reindeer dust down our front garden path, so it glistens in the night to show the reindeer we’re special folk, not normal humans here!

Also, we take the golden key of Santa and hang it on the reef of our door, because that’s Santa’s special key to get inside as we don’t have a fire place!

Then Henry leaves a treat for the reindeer, because Henry is a body shamer and thinks that Santa will die of diabetes if he adds another cake or pie to his diet and goes off to bed!

Meanwhile, we are baking until 1am, mince pies, strawberry gateau, pecan pies, shortbread – gingerbread houses etc, you name it!

Christmas Day, I am up before Henry!  Weird that!  But I am!

Always am!

6am, tired as Hell – but still up like a five year old raring to go!

Paul has to hide my presents until Christmas Eve because I can’t help myself!

I remember two years ago, they tried to trust me and Henry noticed there was a tear in the corner of his present he got me, and was like “mum, seriously”!  So they took them away again!

I can’t help it!

The thing that makes Paul laugh the most is when I open them, I am very careful with the pretty wrappings to unwrap them carefully and fold the paper neatly for scrapbooking – that’s if it’s really nice and unusual.

Anyway, we unwrap things slowly, taking it in turn so we can all see the joy in each other, until someone has more presents than someone else and we just let them get on with it after a while.  But we like to take turns, so we can appreciate things better and it’s fun to see people’s reactions!

I love giving presents!

We stop after around five presents so we can go and make breakfast, special Cinnamon plum compote on cinnamon French toast, believe me, its heaven and its very much an aphrodisiac!  Well for me anyway…

We tend not to eat lunch because dinner is usually 3:30pm after the Royal speech, my goodness, this will be the first year without Madge.  So sad!

Dinner used to be always excessive and leftovers eaten the next day either in the form of chips and beans with the cold meat or turned into a turkey curry! 

After dinner we all try to encourage each other to play board games… I don’t need encouraging…  and it’s the biggest thing I miss about Christmas.  They don’t like it much and will usually argue a lot over it – so I don’t bother anymore.  Nobody spends time together at Christmas in this house after breakfast; it’s such a boring shame! 

Boxing Day is the day after Christmas, in my family it was always the special day where parents spent all day playing with their children and their new toys or going for walks together!

That’s Christmas for me anyway.

Thanks for reading!

Life of a cold dragon

Today I wished I had the stuff I need to wear cosmetics and dress up real nice – I don’t know why but today I woke up thinking, you know what?  I want to be a glamour queen today!

Instead however, because it’s Sunday and nobody is doing anything, I am just in scruffy lounge wear, wearing baggy pink fluffy cardigans and looking like I have just woke up – cuddling my cardigan to myself and wishing I had a different life!

Eating beef stew and a side of string beans, drinking a chocolate protein shake and wondering if that’s all I am having today?  It seems likely actually – I am not gaining any appetite and it’s been like this for weeks now!

Barely having more than 1200 calories on a good day – not good, not good at all!

However, I am flattening up a lot in the tummy area despite being disappointed by my triceps – I am very self-conscious about those actually… but I am trying my hardest to figure things out!

Still sticking to the two a day green tea with cinnamon and turmeric idea and freezing myself a bit to see if it all works – but it’s tough sitting around in the cold, when I like to be snug and warm and live in the temperature fit for a dragon!

I just need to think in a different dragon kind of way… an ice dragon… lol

I was raised in a household that from November the thermostat is permanently on 30c that’s 86F – since living with Paul our thermostat is set at 21.5c which is 70.7F and to me that’s always made the house too cold for me – but I am getting used to it.  My mum would always have windows opened with the thermostat that high too – totally insane, she was not the worst in the family – my maternal grandma was crazy enough to have the heating on in the height of summer!

So, is there any wonder then that Paul sees me as some kind of pampered fire dragon?

Though to be honest I hate it when it’s hotter than 24c/75f but I definitely hate it when it’s cooler than 21.5c/70.7f too!

All day long I have had this song stuck in my head “catch a falling star” by Perry Como – such a pretty song and I keep getting art ideas for it, but I don’t have supplies to make it and the art table is being used for something else these days which makes just doing art at random a chore, because I need to clear up for twenty minutes before I can do it – that also means move stuff from around the table, just so I can access it!

Going to be quiet from the 30^TH November to potentially the 3^rd December, because I have to be the one to sort the house out so we can have Christmas decorations up – if I don’t do it, it doesn’t get done and there is a chance this house won’t have decorations at Christmas if I don’t!

Every year when I have to do this, I tend to get ill during or after I have finished the decorating because of the amount of dust that gets into the air with the old decorations and moving furniture around – because nobody helps me keep on top of things here!  I have a severe dust allergy and often get chest infections around this time! 

To boot, I have a bruised ankle and it hurts when I walk on it.

Paul puts the decorations away every year, but I have to put them up – this means that no decorations are cleaned before putting away, like they would have been if I had put them away – but sometimes the chest infection is so bad I am off my feet until late January!

Thanks for reading!

The marketability of projects

For the past three months I have been struggling to write towards my novels because of family issues and other things going on that has taken up my time, such as learning new things, new skills, honing in old skills I have had and going more into my spiritual development.

Not witchcraft, spiritual development.

Along with the failure to add towards my novels these past few months, my Italian and French lessons have also been paused as well as maintaining my Morning Page Journals and daily reading goals.

But Henry and I have learned together how best to get things done, how we can avoid conflicts within the household and how we can both be warmer.  We both now spend time together upstairs in my room, whilst I write towards blog posts or research things.

This keeps Henry out of Paul’s hair whilst he cooks and whilst Paul does whatever Paul does.

It not only means that in the past two days I am less lonely, but it means that Henry is more relaxed and calm and is actually starting to smile more!

Henry is deeply concerned I am not writing my stories anymore, because he was looking forward to seeing the potential movies they could become!  He is more positive about them becoming movies than I am – but that’s the joy of the naiveté of childhood isn’t it?  Extreme optimism and putting ones parent on a pedestal!

So, Henry tersely asked me this question yesterday evening “when are you going to write more on your novel mama”? 

I told him that I didn’t know and he then said “why not tomorrow”?

So here I am six hours later at 3:13am on my laptop thinking about writing, now it’s tomorrow – question is, do I write towards the novel now until 5am and not wake up until 2pm or do I force myself to try and sleep for the next hour or so and write around noon when I wake up?

I am tempted to start writing something right now – I am not setting any goals for myself this time, just write what I write when I write it and hope that it’s more than five hundred words a day this time!

No sooner had I had this thought about writing, my brain has woken up and told me to write towards three of my current projects all at once… my brain still doesn’t understand the workings of a mortal two handed body does it?

My AD project, my lesbian steampunk project or my Easter project which should really be Christmas project first because it’s that time of year now I can play Christmas music without being unreasonable!

Though I suppose some of my author friends out there will think that Christmas music is always unreasonable!

So, here’s me sitting here thinking that I would like to rehash project AD from the beginning again, because an old idea is stale and I believe this new one will work better.  Thankfully the rehash will only affect the first three chapters of the novel, because the event is not mentioned in the other chapters!

But, I am still struggling with something in regards to this story… how to market it when it’s finished, what genre?  For me, I may market it as a children’s dystopian – but it doesn’t feel right. 

What’s in the story?  The world hasn’t fully jumped into a full out and out post-apocalypse; they are still transitioning through it, creatures are still mutating and they are fighting other mutated creatures in order to survive and in order to maintain personal territory.  The story contains various mythological creatures along with this too and some children befriend a group of bounty hunting animals who adopt them because they are orphans. 

It is stylised around being a steampunk world, filled with the innovations for survival with the relics around them – the storyline is set primarily on vengeance and survival of the fittest.

There are comedy elements as well as mild-for-children horror.

It’s an idea that has been frustrating me since Easter 2022 because I just want to write it down quickly, but circumstances have got in my way.

Once I manage to get back into writing regularly, I can see this novel being written rather quickly and what’s more, it’s a series that I had originally intended to be a comic or graphic novel – but as I am not confident in writing in that format just yet – it will have to do as a novelisation instead… perhaps the novel will come later?

But me being me, I have always had a good head for business – I don’t just see this as a novel or a movie or a bunch of comics, I see it for the potential merchandise it could have – toys etc.  The artist in me can see where this could lead and I do this almost for every story idea I have.

I know I shouldn’t, but I always think about the marketability – I do write for pleasure, but if you knew me well enough you’d know that I have always loved work and working things out and making things bigger than average!

Henry has already been helping me since the summer, design toy ideas based on characters I’ve told him about!

Upon reflection, this story is very much on par with the ideas of a superhero genre, which is why my inner business woman struggles to place it. 

Steampunk dark fantasy or children’s horror or superhero or middle grade dystopian… getting this right is vital for its success!

If I am honest I am much swayed to call it a superhero genre as it is very reminiscent of Batman and the league of super pets!  But the characters are so far removed that they have their own unique stance – in fact a friend once thought they sound like a mix of Mad Max meets The Island of Dr Moreau for kids!

Which made me smile as I never saw it until they said it!

Thanks for reading!