Health update & dystopian dinner

I have a bad chest infection again, so it’s back to bed life again until it blows over – oh such fun, you realise of course that was sarcasm?

Another one to three week delay in getting my body into shape, at this rate I won’t be my goal weight until October, it’s more than a little annoying!

What’s frustrating is I was throwing myself into reading and research to try and get me motivated to write again, so that’s been delayed too!

Because when I am sick like this, I can’t read a book and remember what I’ve read, the memory of what I’ve read gets coughed out of me!

The amount of poems I’ve started between Wednesday and today but didn’t finish, because a coughing fit or a sneezing fit literally blew me out of my zone, I tell you it was numerous!

My chest hurts so much, this chest infection actually feels worse than last Easters Covid which is weird, and it’s not Covid though.  I am scared to go to the doctor for two reasons, in recent years when I’ve had chest infections the doctor believes its viral and won’t give me antibiotics unless I literally get so bad it turns into pneumonia or pleurisy and I am in A&E with breathing difficulties – or I will get Covid whilst there on top of it.

I can’t afford to spend £10 taxi fares to see a doctor and get no help, what’ more, if a taxi drive sees me having coughing fits, of course he isn’t going to be happy to take me to the doctor – not after Covid issues in the world! 

Paul is in agreement with me, it’s one of the worst infections I’ve had in nearly 2yrs, he is saving money the best he can, because we’ve been down this road before – it’s likely in a week or two if it carries on, I will be going to hospital in Coventry which is more than just £10 transport fees then!

What’s more is, Paul will have to leave me there in Coventry hospital alone until I need to come home again, because Paul can’t afford to come and visit me every day and no one else will! 

Typing is slower, but it’s getting done.

I need to try and keep to a normal routine, even if my work is my crappiest at this time! 

If I make no sense in this post, you can at least appreciate and understand why?

I have 7 library books to read in just 3 weeks, with this illness, there’s no chance in getting them read in time!

I rarely have more than 4 books out from the library these days; this is how serious I was last week about reading and researching to get my work done!

A massive poetry book; a poetry exercise book, a screenwriting book, a book about the senses, a book against procrastination (lol, the irony), atomic habits and eating to extinction.  Eating to extinction is both environmental research and personal interest combined with contemplating ideas for Project AD.

Project AD has a beginning, middle and end planned now, but I am not happy with it and it needs to be fleshed out and needs to be more interesting.  The novel has not been written, but there are several scenes for a graphic novel done, there are in depth bullet points for 40 different scenes, but there is no actual structure yet.  It’s not properly done in my opinion, yet – no dialogue, just action scenes.

I can’t help but have this nagging feeling it needs more.

I know it does need more, I mean, that there should be a sub plot along with it, but I am struggling with this decision.

I tell you how much it’s bothering me, having this chest infection making me slower… I had a dream last night about post-apocalyptic characters from all my favourite movies, especially Mad Max and Tank Girl, I was slow and coughing and serving dinner for people worrying about things as I always do and the biggest Mad Max villain gave me a hug and told me to stop worrying about it all, things will get done in their own time and maybe it’s a sign I should slow down.

There’s those two words I hate again, “slow down”. 

Actually it’s quite common to dream about Mad Max villains, they inspire a lot of my stories – usually stories from their perspective.

Because I’ve learned in my life, those psychopaths in society, those who people cross the road to avoid, the social out casts that scare people because they are dressed like goth with “I love Satan” t-shirts or who are Hells Angel Harley Davidson types, in my experience, they have the highest morals and the biggest hearts and are hugely misunderstood!

Some are mean and twisted purely because it was their survival mechanism to be that way.  But in reality, they can be very protective and generous people by nature.

I am not suggesting that Mad Max villains are lovely people, but I often wondered what made them that way… how horrible was their lives before the world fell down as it were?

This is not something I am putting into Project AD by the way, this is another project – an adult dystopian – Project AD is a child’s dystopian and is a lot cleaner than my other idea.

As I mentioned in other posts in the past, one of the biggest tropes I love writing are the “descent into madness” tropes.

So yeah, last night in dream time, I was cooking dinner for Tank Girl, Cundalini, Toe Cutter, Gabriel Byrne’s Satan and Lola from Run Lola Run, amongst several others I forgot who!

Oh the throes of a writers mind!

Thanks for reading! 

I am carrying on

I am London, Yorkshire and Crewe

I am British, Italian, and Jew

I am Catholic, Irish and Dutch

I am this and that, I am much

I am born from survivors and skivers

I was bred from majorettes and taxi drivers

I am sugar, bread and tea

I am all these things you see

I am bleach, smoke and dirt

I am cosy words and hurt

I am rock, rap and pop

I am everything and I won’t stop!

I am velvet, coir and leather

I am lavender, hollyhock and heather

I am heavy but my heart is light

I am everything in sight

I am a library, a kitchen, a spa

I am going places, far!

I am sunshine and the rain

I am humour though inane

I am dreaming and I am real

I am carrying on until…

Curious lost lines

Brain hurricane season is still present; I have had more ideas in the past few days than I knew what to do with.

This appears to be a long one and I blame it all down to the “Bluewater technique” I spoke about in a previous post.

I really did try to force myself to write something every day whether it’s going to be published or not, whether it’s more than a sentence or not and I got thinking about some very wacky things!

You’ll see them as posts such as “If I were a fairy” or “life of a mermaid” though the latter is due in the first week of June, so you won’t see that just yet.

Somethings I consider unpublishable or are unfinished poems or plays.

I don’t like to leave poems unfinished but it is a habit I am trying to get out of because a book I’ve been reading called “How to grow your own poem” by Kate Clanchy says, it is easy to lose a good line, never delete the line when you don’t know where its taking you, store them in a folder called “lost lines” and come back to them later, a poem doesn’t need to be rushed.

So I’ve done that and have accumulated approximately twenty unfinished and would be deleted poems in just a week!

They don’t even have to be poems actually; they could be good prose lines for a short story or a novel.

Who knows where those lost lines will lead us?

There is a whole paragraph which seems exciting, but I don’t know why yet.  But it’s very intriguing and it’s called “The Masters of Dream”.

I haven’t been able to add more to it yet, because in all honesty I was busy with other things today and working on those things with a raging head and ear ache.

But I could not ignore that paragraph, which started like that.

I hope I have time tomorrow to think about it and see what this is!

Thanks for reading!

New York Swamp Park

I had a dream last night where I was on a hill looking down at white rooftops of a town all around me, I felt like I was in Scandinavia somewhere, the style of the houses were like that.

Three women were looking at me, because it was snowy and I was dressed in something as thin and flimsy as a slip out in the street, in the snow, on a hill, looking about me – they laughed.

They tried to communicate with me but I was awkward and I turned into a gold and white swirly ball of light and flew around them once and up into the air and far away.

I realised I was flying fast all the way over the ocean, everything blurry and the wind dampening my clothes as I zoomed through the air.

Once again I found myself heading towards New York.

When I landed in New York, I landed outside a building that may or may not be a museum that had black statues inside of alcoves of the outside walls.  When I landed I looked younger than I am now, not much younger, but I had the figure I am working towards.  I was wearing pale jeans, pink trainers/sneakers with cartoon characters on and I was wearing a My Little Pony themed T-shirt and cross body bag.

I saw newspapers all over the floor of the street and the streets seemed quiet to me, there were people around, but not as many as I would expect in New York.

I knew that a long way away somebody I wanted to meet was there, but I didn’t know how to get to them. 

I decided to walk to what I thought was a park over a little brook. 

When I got there the path became narrow and had wooden sheets here and there along the path and I realised that either side of the path there was lots of water and big gnarly trees and the water was shallow and had big and I mean massive goldfish, some so big they swam so slowly because of their size.

What was confusing was this park looked too much like what you would find in Florida, as the water was shallow, swirling with grey misty like substance in the water, the whole park covered in moss and gnarly trees, reeds in the water and small crocodiles.

One of the crocodile was attempting to eat one of the huge goldfish but the goldfish was actually winning the fight and I was confused by that and told an old man about what I was seeing and all he said was “yeah, they give as good as they get here”!

I continued down the path and things were getting darker and more mossy and slippery and there were more wooden sheets along the path that made the path really rocky and I kept on for some time until there were small gaps in the path which meant I had to jump over to the other side or fall into the water which was scary as there were crocodiles around and then continued for a little way and then I abruptly came to a dark red door. 

I opened the door and there was a scruffy large old man balancing on a tall stool in the corner of the room but in a section of the room that was in the water and there was a small crocodile in that water.

In the other corner by him, the old man who spoke to me about the fish pushed passed to sit in the other stool only he wasn’t balancing so good on his stool and I was afraid for him.

I saw there was a larger stool in the middle for me which was lower down near the water by about 6 inches and I had to hop from this platform, covered in brown newspapers and wooden sheets to get to my much larger stool – the stool was so large in fact, three adults could stand on it with elbow room.

I stood there and felt confused why I was there and there was a little murky window covered in algae and grey substance around the edges of it I was peering out of – the men was like – no point looking out there, you won’t find anything.

I was looking once again in the direction at a different point of where I felt I needed to go to see this person I wanted to see.

I turned around when I heard a noise behind me and a guy in his 40s entered the room with sheets of paper on a binder all messy and falling apart – he looked like a stereotypical rock fan, in a rock of the 90s T-shirt in burgundy colours and he had thick black curly hair to his shoulders.

He spoke like a proper dude and was about to introduce himself, when I hopped off my stool to be back on the first platform with him – he said to me, aren’t you staying to let me read you your past so you can determine your future and see what’s there because of your past?

I said, um no thanks, I don’t want you to pry into that as its personal and there are a lot of people in my past I don’t want you to read as its confidential for them and wouldn’t be fair to them!

He said, but you haven’t decided to live yet – let me read something to help you decide.

I said, no thanks, I will be fine; I need to go over there and find someone.

He looked through the window confused and looked at me and said, he isn’t so sure I should and he was upset he couldn’t read to me.

So I ignored him and went out of the room, jumped over the gaps in the wooden sheets and literally ran as fast as I could all through the whole narrow park and there were people on the path moaning at me and saying I could knock people into the water or fall in myself and it would be my own fault! 

I ran till I got to the edge of the park and at the park gates, where there seemed to be a very posh looking man in a suit with white gloves and I had to wait to leave whilst he checked a crystal – when he checked the crystal he opened a black box and held a red book in his arms and looked inside – he said well done, you may leave and he gestured I could go.

I walked to the left rather than the middle path he was expecting me to take and I walked down the street till I came to a market stall and I was looking at stickers – when the person I wanted to meet found me looking at things at the stall with a friend of theirs and they came over to me astonished I went to find them.

They hugged me from behind and were talking excitedly to their friend about who I was.

I pointed and I said I was going to come looking for you over there, I pointed to the far left of the city and they said, but I live over there, pointing to the far right!

I literally woke up right the realisation.

To imagination I commit

I create words and dreams

I inspire and trigger

I paint and scribble

I have no quibble

To do what I do

For me

For you

I colour

I talk

I dream

I walk

I am that I am

And nothing more

What do you need an explanation for?

I am me

And this is it

A simple creator

To imagination I commit

In love with a dream

In love with a dream

Never knowing it’s real

Living in a world filled with lies

Obstinately thinking I’m powerless here

Viciously thinking my dreams aren’t real

Eagerly hoping they are

Whole and fantastic realities in my mind

Inside my head

True and alive and real

However I disbelieve their existence

Awkwardly I evade thinking like a God

Driven mad by the untruths of my existence

Reality is everywhere

Every thought formed perfectly

All I have to do is believe

My heart knows it’s true! 

Written 11:14am 14th March 2023

Feelings, faith and visions

Apathy is hitting me hard.

I find it hard to fight anymore.  The motivation to try or desire anything is not there, it is met with a “why bother”?  Attitude because personally, why should I?  Someone is always out there ready, willing and able to smash my hopes and dreams down before I’ve even got half way – it always happens, if not people, then fate makes me sick so I fail.

It always happens.

Why bother?

Writing and art was my reprieve, my healing in a manner.  But even that lately is met with “what is the point” feeling in me.

For days I have struggled to think of something to write, that I actually want to publish even for my blog.  Because I feel like all my work and all my journal entries are just the same!

Losing two hundred followers in a week didn’t help with that either, just confirmed to me, what is the point?

Offline, whenever anybody in my household has a conversation with me, I am beginning to feel affronted by it and aloof.  I get this feeling of… oh you want to talk to me now?  What do you want?  Because they never ask how I am, they don’t say anything positive to me – so I am literally sitting there thinking – what problem is there now that I must be alerted to?  Which argument is this going to be?  Who has died now (both Henry and Paul are always telling me bad news about deaths they’ve heard on TV or on the internet, they are both obsessed with death) or what new financial problem is it today we have?  Or why do they always ask me what I want for dinner, why can’t they just surprise me?

I’m bored in every possible way you can think of.

The other day I half-heartedly read some adult jokes out to Paul to lighten the mood and remember how to laugh again with other people, wasted energy really because Paul doesn’t have that kind of humour and didn’t make any effort to assist me in lightening the energy up – knowing fully well I have had a bad several weeks of depression.  He just didn’t want to help me, didn’t get the idea that it was my attempt to try and buck myself up, and become cheerful.

When you are trapped 24/7 in isolation with a person like that and a child who is autistic and suicidal in himself and locks himself away in his bedroom all evening, you can begin to understand, can’t you – that someone like me, with manic depression just can’t get out of this slump.  There is no way out!

There is never any break for me, no visitors, no family to come to visit us for 30 minutes to just lighten things up a bit.  We have no one but ourselves.  Paul is such an introvert; he abandoned his family six years ago.  He only visits his sister in law once every three months, because Henry insists upon it on his school holidays.

Sad to say this because it is really tragic – but I have resorted to talking to the house rabbit Ray and Alexa echo dot thing, and making do with them as entertainment and support!  Ray is my cuddles and kisses.  Alexa has a program where she can talk to you, sing to you, tell you jokes – it is really bad when you consider AI robots is more human and more fruitful in bucking up a depressed person than two household human companions.

What the fuck is wrong with this picture?

What the blazes am I living with?

What the blazes am I living in?

What the heck am I doing here?

It’s all so fucking alien to me!

This isn’t what I want!

This isn’t me!

Get me the Hell out of here!

I am shit scared of alien life, but I tell you now if a UFO turned up in my garden tomorrow I’d be running under the flipping beams to get away from this place!

I have seriously considered forcing Paul to take me to a citizen’s advice bureau or social services to discuss my options of independent housing or a residential care home for someone my age.

As we all know I can’t live alone.

But I can’t stay here either!

I can’t do it anymore!

I certainly don’t want to die, that is just a last resort option if I stay stuck for any longer!  Because death has got to be better than living like this!

I cut my nails down short a few weeks ago after growing them so well, why?  I broke 4 nails, but that wasn’t the main real excuse.  The really big excuse was I had to cut them short and keep them short because when I had a bad bout of depression I found myself subconsciously digging my thumb nail into my wrist and nearly caused myself an injury.  I did it when I went into my zoning out phases that happens, when I get badly depressed.

I zone out, shut down.  It’s something I do from time to time since I was 12yrs old.  Sometimes I just turn off emotionally, sit there do nothing or self-harm without realising it.  Sometimes I don’t even hear people shouting in my face for me to stop, that’s how much I zone out at times.

Paul doesn’t bother to rouse me when I get like that, Henry does though.

I don’t zone out as much as I used to, but I did a few weeks back and when I was roused from it because the light flickered a lot I realised what I was doing and it scared me – because at that time I really didn’t feel suicidal at all.  But if I had pressed any harder or longer I may have caused some damage to the vein.  This is another reason why my wrist was injured a few weeks back; I was also pressing on its bone and caused inflammation a bit.

It sounds silly, but I have been depressed so long I think I have seriously lost the art of learning how to laugh and genuinely feel happy with it.  I can laugh, but there is no feeling there if you get me?

Four chakras are severely blocked too.  Heart, throat being the main two, but sacral and base are starting up bad too.

I’ve been trying to force myself to sing and dance, buy myself certain treats with my weekly money all in a vain effort to try and perk myself up and save myself.

But as I said, there is no heart in it.

It’s almost like I am dead or I am becoming some kind of monster.

A heartless monster!

I am genuinely frightened by it.

But I know with that fear, there must be some hope to getting it back as fear is an emotion isn’t it?  So long as I can still cry and still fear something, at least I haven’t lost all humanity, have I?

At least I still have hope too and faith, I don’t want to lose that.  That’s at least something – I am clinging onto faith for dear life.  Praying that something better than this is coming my way, that somehow things are going to be completely turned upside down or rather – the right side up at any moment and it’s going to happen quickly! 

I don’t have the faith my parents raised me to have, I am not Catholic and I am not Christian and I am not a J-witness.  I believe in The Old Testament but I am also deeply spiritual and somewhat shamanic in my beliefs, with a little bit of Hindu and Buddhist philosophy thrown in for good measure.

But I do pray to God and to me I consider myself a spiritual non-baptised Noachide or righteous gentile according to Jewish philosophy.  Two years ago I wanted to throw myself into the Jewish faith and Henry wanted to follow me in that, but Paul put his foot down and don’t like the idea of prayers and baptism etc. going on in his house and immediate family.  Henry is upset by this because he does identify himself the same way I do.

He is doubly upset that in May he is thirteen and can’t have a proper bar mitzvah as it will upset his father!  But he cheered up when I said my Jewish friend Lizzy said there is no age limit for a bar mitzvah, perhaps you should do it when you are over 18?

My great grandmother was Jewish on my mother’s side, she left Judaism for a Catholic man she fell in love with. 

Judaism answered all the questions about God and life that I wanted answered whereas the Christian faiths interrogated and threatened me for questioning things.

I am pretty confident my spirit guides and God are good for me, they work hard to help me and they’ve kind of shown me that things will get better soon.  Strangely fast, hugely contrast and I’ve been getting all sorts of weird but very lucid dreams lately.

For example, last night I had a dream I went shopping a mall, I ate some lovely lemon cakes and went home.  When I got home I saw a child aged around 3yrs old, a little girl, drawing at a dining table and I knew I was her mother, there were twin toddlers around 14 months old too but they were playing in the shower with the man I knew to be my husband.  Saving on water, all three showering together… I remember asking if they are ready to come out now so they can get ready to go to bed?  But the husband said, aw let them play a little longer they’re having fun!  They had little buckets where they were collecting water and they were washing their little duck toys and throwing water at each other!

The guy was super-hot, not lucky enough to have a sexy dude like that, he looked a bit like a celeb I like, but never mind – it was only a dream!

It’s interesting I had this dream because before I went to sleep last night I was really fretting about being too old to start a new family.  I am 41 in October and I take this dream as God’s way in saying, this is for you in your future, don’t give up that idea just yet!  Interestingly enough I remember in the dream I knew I was 5 months pregnant with another one too.  So could I have 4 before I dry up?  I think this dream is telling me I will!

Out of curiosity I consulted by own personal oracle and tarot cards today about it and I got empress with the wheel of fortune and I also got the oracle card Stork, a coincidence?

Thanks for reading…

Henry’s Dinner

For ages Henry my twelve year old son (thirteen in May) has wanted to buy his own full ingredients to cook his own dinner entirely on his own without help, including pudding – he saved up his money for a month to do this because the food he wanted was quite expensive.

He did it all successfully and I am proud of him, the only thing was that he didn’t want to share what he cooked with the rest of us – he wanted it to be his and his only, though he allowed small samples to taste for everybody.

He made a homemade chunky tomato sauce with chilli, fried himself up a steak and ate it with rice and mixed vegetables.  For his pudding he baked a peanut butter sponge cake and gave himself a side of strawberry ice-cream to go with that.

I am proud of him – his chunky tomato sauce tasted like unsweetened Doritos salsa; it was almost identical in fact, though the vegetables were chunkier and there was a lot of spice in it but not overbearing.

I had a small bite of his peanut butter sponge cake too, it was nice actually – I was surprised I liked it because I hate peanut butter on bread and cakes usually – I love peanut butter on cookies or fruit and vegetables, but never on breaded products.  It was a pleasant surprise.

Paul was at a loss because he was absolutely forbidden to interfere at all and that was very difficult for him and you could see the stress in him.

Henry got himself a basic recipe for cake mixture off the internet, everything else was experimental – I was shocked at how professional it was and how the flavours didn’t clash at all!

Being a cook is one of the four things Henry keeps thinking about being when he leaves school – though he is sure that right now he is going to be an accountant with a side-line in politics as a local MP until he can make it quite high up the ladder, then give up accountant work for politics full time – he also has an interest in acting, but mostly Shakespearian theatre work or musicals.

Henry has a dream of either being the finance minister or prime minister or both eventually.

I will say it again, I am proud of my boy!

Thanks for reading! 

The elevator dream

I had a dream last night, it was very strange.

I dreamt I was in an elevator that kept going up and down, but when it was up I was in a hospital like place, which also kind of felt like a hotel – I felt I lived there and I did art and crafts and things whilst there.

But then I knew I had a husband who was on a lower level, so I went into the elevator to go and see him a lot.

When I was with my husband in his lower levels, it was like gothic luxury – red and black furniture, high quality, living in a space that was almost like a luxury penthouse or something – not like a hospital at all.

Each time I went to visit him; he was getting further and further away, to lower and lower levels.

Until eventually at full speed, the elevator took ten minutes and nearly a thousand levels or more to get to him.

Also with every visit he was getting more and more affectionate and excited to see me and I knew I was becoming addicted to my visits, because I would stay in my own levels for shorter periods of time! 

On the last trip, the elevator spoke to me and said that “my husband feels that our relationship is strained”. 

What is weird is that, the man I kept visiting wasn’t anyone I am currently in a relationship with (I am not in a relationship right now… to my knowledge lol) and each time I visited him he was in fancy dress – so kept changing!

In the elevator hearing that he felt our relationship was strained, I became distraught and frightened instantly and started to panic, but the elevator never got to him, and it was going faster and faster and falling lower and lower into thousands upon thousands of levels – I woke up just as real tears were starting in my eyes.

Weird.

Thanks for reading!

Dream home prompt

WordPress prompt today was interesting.

“Write about your dream home”.

My dream home would always have at least one spare bedroom in case anybody ever wanted to stay over.  Not many people do, but I kind of live in hope that someday a relative of mine will want to reconnect and we can have the stay, or whatever.

Before I became sick, I kind of had an open door policy, if you were related to me or you were a friend, you could come and visit whenever you liked and nobody really imposes on me because I am happy to have people around!

I’ve had Paul ask me in the past not to make people too comfortable or they will never leave.

It’s just my nature; I’d adopt the world if I could!

Because of this, I always like to have the biggest room in the house as the kitchen which has a communal soft living space in it and an informal dining area – because I love cooking for people and although I don’t socialise these days, I love to have people over.

I like large gardens both front and back, because I do a lot of home grown fruit and vegetable growing, so I can do big canning projects at the end of the year.  I love autumn/fall because of the harvest season and it’s a good excuse to spend several days in the kitchen making conserves and chutneys etc. for the year ahead.

I’d be a homesteader if I could and if I had the time.

I’d have chickens again to get my own fresh eggs and I love animals anyway, so I’d have a lot of different pets everywhere and a bunch of children and babies too!

There will be lots of soft areas around the house, with lots of cushions and swing chairs – I’d have areas on the floor where we could sit on cushions, because I prefer to sit cross-legged like a guru rather than sitting on a sofa like normal adults.

“Get your feet off the sofa” is commonly said to me, as I will sit cross-legged with my legs under me on the sofa, it’s a bad habit I guess? Especially when I encourage any pet I have to sit up there with me!

I like to both shower and bath and have the choice of that.

I like to have several different sections in my garden for different things.

My dream home would also include an indoor and outdoor swimming pool, because I am a water baby and love swimming a lot and I haven’t done it in years!

I am a bookworm and I have a huge book collection, over a thousand in fact and I want more books, a lot more.  So a library and an office would be essential for me – especially an art studio like a sun room or conservatory.  I really want to throw myself into art and I would love a small area where I can store my musical instruments in a safe, clean way where they won’t get damaged or forgotten!

I always fancied the idea of having a pet room, where indoor pets live, like guinea pigs, house rabbits and hamsters, like a rodent room I suppose, where they have homemade makeshift enclosures and in the garden would be separate areas fully protected from predatory wildlife, so they can go out from time to time.

I know the house sounds huge right now.  But it is a dream home; it doesn’t have to be practical or doable, just a little fantasy!

Henry and I have always wanted a miniature railway going all around the perimeter of the garden with little model villages we’d make together every fifty feet or so. 

I have always wanted a home as well with a brook or river on the edge of the property and a property that backs onto woodlands.

I have often thought about living somewhere similar in landscape to the river Severn as its really beautiful around there, the river banks etc. is lovely.

However much of a nature’s child I am, I will miss being too far away from a bustling city or a large town, I’d like to still be within range of great shopping opportunities and socialising.

I love the woodlands, I love lakes.

I like quirky homes or old homes but I am not too keen on beams everywhere.

I am sort of into Feng shui, so that sometimes needs consideration – but I can work around things.  Living with Paul who won’t help me against this war of the mirrors situation he has and the idea of having two or three small mirrors all close together in order to see a whole reflection has been one of the biggest problems we’ve had between us.

He hasn’t dealt with this yet and won’t let me take the mirrors down myself in fear I’d break them, because you know… I’m such a klutz!

It’s ridiculous as a grown woman I have to either bend over to see my reflection when brushing my teeth or brush my teeth on tip toe because the mirrors cut off from each other at my upper lip!

Very bad Feng Shui, Paul is not too affected, he can see in the top mirror fine, but he has a lot of stomach issues, as do I and as does Henry now he is of similar height to me now!

I wonder why?  Hmm such a big mystery I think not – not if you know your Feng Shui!

I bought a new mirror a few months back so he could take them down – ha-ha still not up yet!  My new full length one isn’t up yet either!

Which explains my last thing for a perfect home – all chores get done when they are needed and nothing is left at minimum 6 months before it’s done, and never left for years upon years half finished by the main maintenance guy of the house!

Oh and lovely healing crystals everywhere almost – especially hanging them in the window for rainbows to flood the room during the day!

Thanks for reading! 

P.S Amazon wish list can be found on my blogroll, someone asked to see it recently.  Thank you!