The bliss that once was

Have you forgotten how to laugh?

How words fell out of mouths to bring joy not discontent

For the want of a light hearted time and prosperity

To throw away the darkness of a day and just forget

When did we lose our sense of humour?

When once we frivolously bantered in the want of fun

And nobody took it seriously, the words, mere words spoken by a jester because of sardonic irony

Never any real malice was its intent

And the sun shone bright back then, for we people forgave the attempt to alleviate

When did we all deviate from the light of the world?

When did our blood run cold to jocund distractions and bent ourselves up in anger and bitterness?

When will time show us what we have lost in pleasure?

Cautious to laugh as sacred joy has become a sin

It’s no use now, use it or lose it and we are nearly lost

Lost in the darkness, fearful to inject blithe reflections of the human state

Swamped in the sensitive depressions of those who have strayed from their souls too long

And together we will all stand in the shadows of our former selves

Unthinking, unfeeling and silent

Soon to forget the bliss that once was

Mind games

Remember the song?

You’re so vain?

Don’t be so touchy it’s not always about you

Though guilt and shame must haunt you

If you contest that it’s not true

I can’t be responsible for how you think and feel

If you think I’m writing about you, maybe you are ill?

Oh sorry, I thought you were playing

Another mind game with me

I thought I’d join in and play with you, like you tried to play with me!

It isn’t fun is it, when the trick is played on you?

Life isn’t fair is it?

Oh poor old you!

Easter project update 2023

As Easter approaches my Easter project is more thought of, more inclined to be written.  Today I wrote a small snippet towards it, which is more than I have done for weeks if I am honest.

I am quite proud of what I did, even if it was only two paragraphs.  The idea hit me and I had to add it in, the villain has been remastered, he has a more full personality now and seems quite real, whereas my old villain was pretty naff really.

However I am starting to realise that this story, which was planned to be a trilogy could actually have some kind of comic elements to it too and may not be just three books!

As I realised that the two main characters are very hero/villain with magical powers like a normal comic would be.

It was never intended to be another comic, but it is starting to flow that way.  But it is written as a novel, because I prefer to do that with this project.

Thing is, this project is not really in first draft yet, it is actually only in planning mode and note taking whilst I try to visualise the whole world.

I do actually know where I would like the story to go and I believe once I am happy with the whole plan, this will be written down quite quickly.

The story is quite musical in parts, with poems and it is reminiscent of Charlie and the chocolate factory, but it is also poles apart as well.  The storyline is only similar in that it is based on a fantasy candy world; there are no children as main characters, no competitions, no mutations and a lot more magic, myth and legend retelling.

Similarly to project AD, it does have anthropomorphic supporting characters and is set around Easter, with a little bit of Easter tradition thrown in to help the story along a bit.

Why is it musical in parts and has a lot of poetry in the plans?

Because when I write, I write the kinds of movies I want to see – to me this is a musical family fantasy based around Easter, the Easter bunny and candy land. 

I’m actually quite excited about this project because it’s super fun to write.

Project AD is fun to write, but it is less playful if you get me?

Also this Easter project has a better and more energetic playlist than Project AD when I write it, so writing moves along faster – not to mention the language is rather different in project AD compared to this project.

My sense of humour can be very naughty at times and I have to keep reminding myself that I intend for this to be a family audience, so at times I get sad because I think of a hilarious scene and then sit back and realise how would I respond if a young child read or watched this and then I am like – OH MY GOODNESS DELETE-DELETE-DELETE!

No innuendos about gumballs Tina!

Shocking, really I am!

But those things slip in there and I have to be careful and mindful about it and who my audience is supposed to be, so the gumball joke is deleted.

So, you won’t be reading about how you should handle an evil gum tree any time soon!

By kicking him in the gumballs!

Shakes head*

Sorry about that!

Thanks for reading!

Space wars

Some people are bitter bullies

Trying to burn a star with a sun

A war out in space

An idiot thinks it’s fun

Some can’t take an answer like “no”

But how one can stoop, ever so low!

They try to punch an envious blow

Cause a fire in the pan

But does he really know who guides my hand?

His own presumed Lord and Master and his sister he hurts

He thinks he is untouchable, but he’ll get his just desserts

Because I am a Queen and I reign well

Anyone who messes with me, will burn in Hell

It is presumed we are the same

But we are not, he is lame

Because he messes with a game

That he can’t win at all

Because the guy is just a fool!

He has a choice to end this now

Stop his silly games

Or else he’ll feel the bite of hounds

Taking all his gains

Raven warrior day

Today I feel like a warrior, the raven warrior I used to be.

I feel like dressing up in my old black clothes and wearing my raven feathered necklace and rethinking about designing that raven feather cloak I have always wanted to make.

I miss my gothic make-up today; I used to be a Goth as a teenager and into my mid-twenties – a big contrast to the semi-kawaii style I like these days.

I was the Gothic Jock type at school, but also sort of nerdy – because I was an A & B grade student mostly and I was teased for it some of the time, though I never flaunted it and tried to conceal my grades wherever possible – because in my family, nobody got grades like that it is a sort of anomaly, a weird thing which I held close to my heart in shame.

My dad and his side of the family was the only people I felt comfortable knowing my grades, because on dad’s side of the family there are teachers and government workers, so education is important to them and it’s not a cause for shame there.

But today, I am the raven warrior again – or at least it’s the first time in years I feel like she’s been awakened again.

At least I do have some black clothes, though no make-up – at least I can sort of feel like my old self again, in part. 

A black lace cami, a long black skirt, a back flowing shrug, black socks though ruined by pink diamonds, but you can’t have everything in this place.  It’s a cheerful day, despite the kind of poetry I am producing and despite looking mournful – to me it’s a brighter day in my heart.

I wonder why the raven spirit in me is so strong today?

I used to be called Raven Mother by some people in the past – sometimes The Raven Warrior – sometimes The Vampire – sometimes the warrior goddess  and I tried to get people to call me Raven but they didn’t do it, because I guess they didn’t like my sense of humour in being known as The Raven Lunatic, haha.

Some people have no sense of fun – in fact most, don’t.

I had lots of interesting nicknames before I moved in with Paul and every ounce of my identity in all of them has gone, you wouldn’t recognise me now from what I used to be.

I may have been abused badly in my past and mostly isolated – but to be honest I did still socialise on my mother’s terms and I did so more often than I do now I live with Paul.  I may have been living day to day scared for my life with violence and unpredictable people and living day to day with loss after loss – but strangely enough, I was happier then than I am now.  I still don’t understand it.

Maybe I was happy because of how many people used to visit?  Maybe I was happier because I was a lot richer back then and never had to wait months between necessary non-food purchases?  Maybe I was happier because I had more personal freedom around the home, even though I had copious amounts of duties and chores to do between them?

I don’t know.

As I said, I am still puzzled by it.

How can someone be so happy in a situation where day to day they are not sure if they would be alive by the end of the day?

Food for thought I guess?

Yet when I was in that situation I was desperate to get away because I was under so much stress, I often had black outs because things got too much for me and I had to constantly make excuses to non-family people about why I can’t be normal, why I can’t just take their invitation on the spur of a moment etc – because there was often a violent backlash if I did.  Not from them or from me, but if my mother found out she’d go nuts and literally hunt the person down.

So the raven took her flight and said “Nevermore” to that situation and came to live with Paul.

Thanks for reading…

Precious time

For the past few weeks my brain has been more than just a tad topsy-turvy. 

I have been suffering from insomnia for years but since around November my insomnia has got far worse, sleeping an average of just four hours a day and it really is day time sleeping too – often getting to sleep around 8am to wake up around noon.

It feels so alien and wrong to me, I have never been one who likes to sleep and I have never been one who accepts people who sleep-in; I am one of those people who generally have little respect for people who sleep in bed past 10am (even on a Sunday)and here I am, doing just that!  In fact, before I got sick, I was disgusted by people who couldn’t get out of bed by 8:30am!

But there you go, things change and not always for the better!

For me it is inconvenient to be asleep during the day because Henry is at school and whilst I am fighting with my insomnia and sleeping whilst he is at school it means I am practically getting nothing done at all for weeks now!

No reading, hardly much writing, no art yet, listening to music, not much meditation or conversation, not much of anything. 

When I am awake I am tired to the extent of feeling faint most of the time that all I am able to do is sit and stare and try to maintain consciousness.

So if the quality of the writing in my blog has been really bad lately, you now know why!

Last night was an exception for me considering these past few weeks, I managed to get to sleep by 2:30am and wake up around 10am, which is amazing considering what’s happened sleep wise for the past two months!

I’ve done more in these three hours today, than I have for the whole of last week!

If anybody out there knows me, they know that one thing I can’t stand more than sleepy heads, is people who waste their time by choosing to do nothing!

I have a huge intolerance for time wasting, unless it’s purely for relaxation, recuperation or fun!

I am easily frustrated by myself if I find I am not being productive in at least something – it doesn’t have to consistently be the same one thing, as long as I am being productive in something!  Such as cleaning, reading, honing a skill, writing, socialising, exercising, bonding with a pet, gardening or keeping my brain sharp with a strategy or puzzle game.  Anything which doesn’t contribute to some kind of betterment in the future, or productivity is a waste of time!  Unless as I have said, it is for fun or recuperation – this is where TV and music comes into play for me.

Because for me, the TV and music can be very productive, even though I might just be sitting and watching or sitting and listening, because not only am I relaxing and having fun, it adds to the stimulus for ideas to be creatively productive in the future or a form of research – this is something non creative people can never understand!

Though even watching TV these days is a task not worth fighting for as I can never watch anything in full without being disturbed or someone randomly coming over and turning the channel without asking if I am watching it and to fight to keep it on is not worth it and too much energy!  I live with selfish people who don’t care and are stronger minded than I am, so they walk all over me! 

The idea of sitting down and doing nothing in a brainless manner, even for relaxation has never really made sense to me; Paul does it all the time, he sits down sometimes for hours and I ask him what he is thinking about and it is always the same answer “nothing”, I don’t get it!

Even when I meditate I never go into that state of “no mind” so I suppose then by meditation standards I am doing it all wrong?  But I just can’t seem to grip the state of “no mind” relaxation.  For me, when I relax I suppose it’s a sort of astral travel?  I am wondering round in the throes of my mind in forests, having conversations with people, thinking deeply about anything and often find myself doing the things in my head that I would like to do physically if only!

When I was bedbound sick, you have no idea how crazy it made me just sitting in bed all day every day for so many years just existing as it appeared to me to just suffer!

I exist purely for germs, was my everyday thought – to give life to infectious little bugs as a host and nothing more.  As dramatic as it seems, that’s how I felt!

Sickness, procrastination and doing nothing, is highly inconvenient for me – as is sleep, going to the toilet and travelling in a car, because of the little activities I can do during those times!  Time wasting, can’t stand it!

Yet I’ve done it so much over the past eight years whilst recuperating from ill-health and you have no idea how much guilt I put on myself for it either!

The only time that time wasting is ok for me, is in pleasurable pursuits, then I can waste lots of time doing those things!  I am a hedonist after all! 

But yes, time wasting is my biggest frustration in life and the idea that my health and now insomnia is getting in the way of so much I want to do, life is short as well – is there any wonder why I am often finding myself suicidal?

I wasn’t suicidal before I got sick, in fact I used to be scared of death – but since being ill and lonely, I often crave it now, in fact some days, on bad days, I want to run towards it!

It’s a huge contrast to how I used to be when I lived with my mother, I wanted to be immortal, wanted to become rich enough to invest in discovering the immortal elixir of life and silly ideas like that!

Rich enough to put in research to life extending sciences!

It’s funny now how I don’t think this way anymore, how I just want to fade away because my body insists on being a time wasting shit head, a bum – I don’t like being a bum – don’t respect bums and hate being one, but I am one and you have no idea how much I loathe it and I am fighting against the odds to stop being one!

But the thing is, there is only so much you can do with four hours sleep and a compromised immune system and an NHS system that constantly fails to support you and poverty to boot!

There comes a time when you think about just giving up…

It’s exhausting trying to fight for the little freedoms of everyday life which almost everyone else seems to take for granted!

Those little things other people take for granted, are just mere dreams to me right now.

Thanks for reading!

Me as cartoon characters

My personality as cartoon characters!

Thought it would be fun to do this one, because, yeah – I am the sort of person who has the kind of friends who sit around hypothesising about others in various realities and yeah, those same friends have thought I am like some cartoon characters!

So which ones according to my friends am I like?

The most common one most people think I have inside of me is Elmira from The Tiny Toon adventures!

When I asked why!  They say it’s because I am like one of these mad cheery camp reps and I am always trying to make people feel at home and I can sometimes be over the top when I care or love someone!  But I don’t just stop there, I am also one of these annoying high pitch pet talkers and I do everything for anyone or anything I care about.

Because, yeah, I am going to love them, squeeze them, take care of them, protect them, and keep them forever!

I think they tried to insult me, but I kind of enjoyed the fact that although they tried hard to make it sound like a bad thing, it made me feel like that it was such a positive thing to describe me as that perhaps I might be a little irritating for them, but it’s because they’ve not had that kind of hospitality before!  LOL!

Second most common cartoon character I have been likened to is Pinky from Pinky and The Brain, because I come out with all this weird surf dudette type language and I make up my own words a lot, because my brain often stops working when I talk at speed to people… so I often say things like Flarb or Doolally and what not!

Also I am always asking people, what are we going to do?  How are we going to do it? What and how do you think about so and so, but usually I come out with such random absurdist crap, that people feel totally lost with me!

I also fidget a lot – I find it hard to behave and keep still, so I am constantly twirling my hair, or pulling at my socks when I am sitting on the sofa or I am crackling my fingers!

I have also been described as rather goofy and no not the cartoon character, like the goofiness of Pinky as sometimes when people try to make me feel stupid, I kind of play along too much and deliberately stick my teeth out at them and talk like I have suddenly got brain damage or something and carry it over.    “Well I don’t know dude, I mean you seem to have it all together, not like me, I am doopid”!

Yes, I have been described by American friends as being such a doofus at times!

So yeah, friends describe me as an overly hospitable, smothering, doofus air-headed dudette.  What a mouthful huh?

Oh gosh, that totally makes me want to share with you what a mouthful can really be like, by throwing out loads of tongue twisters out there or challenging you to a Jaffa cake contest, where you see how many of the things you can shove in your mouth all at once… OK – I will try to behave!

I promise not to pull my lips apart with my fingers and try to say “Two elephants went up a hill and parted” in front of you!

Upon reflection my friends might have a point about me…

Oh and thirdly I am apparently like Hammy from Over the Hedge and yes I can totally belch my ABCs!

Sorry for the image there!

Give me any candy and caffeine and you will see what I mean!

Never grew up and don’t intend to – I am a complete and utter embarrassment once I get confident around new people and you often wonder why you chose to get to know me at all!

I do have restraint, but it can usually only last around three hours before I start getting jittery!

But yay, I can at least hold myself together for a whole three hours… yay me!

Some people can’t even do that!

But on a positive note I can easily be reigned in by people I am around, if they are firm enough or mindful enough to give me the occasional glare or what not if they can sense I am getting a bit jittery!

Thanks for reading! 

Yes, Miss Hannigan!

Everyone has a favourite type of character when they watch a movie or read a book, don’t they? 

Well today I am going to talk about one of my most favourite female characters and character types ever! 

Miss Hannigan from the musical Annie has always been one of my favourite female characters of all time and I think it’s because she reminds me a lot of several different people I knew growing up!  Loving, usually drunken roguish women who are trying to make amends, literally drowning in kids and poverty!

But the one thing that really stands out about Miss Hannigan is this – she doesn’t let things get her down too much, yes OK she is a drunk with bipolar but she still has her sense of ironic humour and fun, like some women I have known in the past!

Self-deprecating jokes about her situation and the ability to smile, flirt and still take pride in herself makes her a loveable character really and she has inspired a story I want to write in the future – a story that has been in the planning stages for over twenty years – why?  Because I’d like it to be a sequel to the movie and I need to get permission to do it – but don’t know how yet!

This has been a long standing goal of mine since I was a child in fact.

I have always liked misunderstood characters, characters given a bad rap but they generally turn out to be nice people in the end or have taught a valuable lesson to the main protagonist in some way or had turned out to be an anti-heroine and not really a villain at all.

In the 1982 musical Annie, Miss Hannigan actually tries to stop her brother from hurting the little orphan and ends up celebrating with the orphans at the end of the movie, which got my creative juices flowing really well as to why! 

Growing up I thought I would get into amateur theatre groups as a side-line, but it never happened – there was too much control from my mum even in my adult life and when I finally got away from her I never had the time.

But Miss Hannigan was always one role I always wanted to play.  In fact, so much so one of the foreign accents I have deliberately tried to hone a skill in, is a New York accent!  But I think I need more work on it to be honest! 

There will be more character discussions soon as there are a handful of characters I admire a lot and I like sharing why I like them with you.

Thanks for reading!

Like lollipops & rainbows

Drowning in the fear of change

Will anything be the same?

I was promised things in my dream time

Will you promise me things will be fine?

I hope and pray that you’ll love me

I hope and I pray that you will stay

I dream that things will be lovelier for me

In each and every way

I stop to smell the roses

And hope I’m not pricked by thorns

I am tired of the sadness

I am tired of being forlorn

I try to stay positive, like the burning sun

I try to think in colour

Like the rainbow, it’s fun

I try to be happy

I try each and every day

I try to chase the storm out

I try to cover the grey

And I think I’m getting better

At finding joy in my life

Away from all the sadness

Away from all of the strife

So hear me when I tell you

I am looking for better things

Like lollipops and rainbows

And birds that sing

Though you call me rather silly

You have fallen on deaf ears

Because the light isn’t scary

No I have no more fears

Things are going to be better

Just you wait and you will see

That I will be happy soon

And I will be free!

Old bucket list

I found one of my old Bucket List Note Books today, some things I have put in there I have completely forgotten about – which is one of the reasons why I put them in there in the first place, because I was afraid I’d forget about them.  In particular places I’ve seen on TV or in magazines that look interesting to go to.

I haven’t dreamt big for a long time, these are things I thought were attainable within 5 to 10yrs, but after our money cutbacks and the UK’s heat or eat crisis, even half of these look like a never thing now.

Over the past 13yrs I’ve seen our weekly budget cut like this £200 a week, £120, £80, £50, £40 we can’t survive another cut, which is predicted by the government in the UK in February 2023.

Such as going to Efteling theme park in Amsterdam in a place called Kaalsheuval – would never have remembered that in a million years!  I haven’t seen it advertised since the program I watched in 2018 showing it!

I may or may not ever do this – get a tattoo of a specific design I have in mind of a raven on my upper left shoulder or shoulder blade.

Grow the meconopsis (Himalayan blue poppy) from seed successfully, they are notoriously hard to grow and I have failed twice so far – but I may not grow it after all.

Go Christmas shopping in New York, that’s been on my bucket list since I was 8yrs old, only when I was 8yrs old I didn’t know what a bucket list was!

Go to New York’s Serendipity 3 and order their famous Opulent Sundae.

Go to Ireland, particular the areas Cork, Leinster and Roscommon, where some of the Irish ancestors came from – for example, one set of my ancestors was a Duke of Leinster (via a 6x great grandmother’s maiden name FitzGerald) and my great grandpa came from Roscommon.

Go to a huge water park, I love water parks – I haven’t been to one since I was 10yrs old, one of my cousins used to take me annually from 4yrs old till I was 10yrs old but then it stopped when she moved too far.  I only like the kind of water parks that let adults on the slides too!  I am a big kid!

Take Henry to the London Dungeons with me, I love that place!

Grow a Japanese acer, they’re so pretty!

Grow a cherry tree from seed to harvest!

Publish a novel.

Get a huge house with 4+ acres of land!  Actually I think the acreage is too small now, I have bigger plans for the garden and making a sustainable food forest type home with some animals like goats etc.  So now my minimal acreage is around 10 acres now.

Make my art project Kabbalah – it’s a woodwork project I have in mind based on the Kabbalah!

Make mosaic planters.

Home make my own garden paving slabs!

Create a large swimming pond, not pool, pond, I want it to be natural… I also want a proper pool too, but there you go.  Hey, I was a kid who loved catching frogs and caring for frog spawn, what do you expect?

Build a rockery/alpine garden.

Go to the Chelsea flower show.

Go to Crufts as a competitor with my dogs… I want to do best of breed but also agility and fly ball at some stage.

Breed a pair of dogs and keep their bloodline for generations, 1 pup from each generation.

Take a cruise on the river Danube.

Have a minimum of 5 children – still wanting that!  I have 1 so far, I need 4 more or I will get grumpy.

Go to the Jurassic coast and look for fossils and amber and generally do some rock pooling or something.

Go to Whipsnade zoo with Henry.

Own some chickens – buff Orpington’s.

Own some goats.

Make an insect hotel.

Go camping with my family.

Go to the Natural History museum with Henry.

Go to the science museum with Henry.

Go to a musical theatre with Henry.

Go to the London aquarium with Henry.

Go on the London Eye.

Go into the tower of London.

Touch a real live, raven.

Have a 6ft aquarium again and decorate it myself.

Build a large hamster city.

Grow Hollyhocks from seed.

Grow and harvest several gourd varieties at once for an excellent autumn photo shoot!

Get a GCSE in math.

Go to a fetish club, never actually been to one, Paul has promised over the years but never got around to it.

Go to a jazz club.

Go to a cocktail bar.

Go to an Italian restaurant that isn’t run by my family!

Go to France and buy macarons.

Go to Hungary and eat proper goulash in a restaurant – I know how to make it, but I want the real stuff!

Make ratatouille for my family.

Home make vegetable soup for Henry – he’s never had it as we could never afford to make it since he was 3yrs old.

Home make onion soup for someone again

Get my ears pierced again as my mother did a bodge job when I was 5!

Go to the day of the dead celebrations.

Go to the Notting Hill carnival.

Go to Mardi Gras.

Grow oyster mushrooms

Make Barbie clothes for a little girl’s doll – preferably a daughter.

Get Cubase back

Compose and sell my own music and lyrics

Make a close circle of Bohemian friends.

Go to Rutland garden centre

Have a jewellery vault like Scrooge McDuck and sit in there like a guarding dragon!  Yes, I know materialism is a bad fantasy, but I’ve always wanted this since I was a kid and I saw Scrooge McDuck and then I saw dragons guarding hoards of treasure and I like magpies and I like shinies…  But knowing me it will all be what my gran calls “a lot of your cheap costume jewellery crap”!  But it makes you feel like you have a big hoard!  They are still shiny, even if they are mostly fake, no?  Another thing about this is, I care for jewellery – so I am hardly going to throw it on the floor of the vault and swim on it.  In any case, they’d be in glass boxes and easily visible in good lighting like a mini jewellery museum, if I had my way!  Weird thing is, other than bangles and finger rings, I don’t like wearing jewellery outside of special occasions.

Become fluent in 5 languages before I am 80yrs old!  

Become fluent in Italian

Become fluent in French

Become fluent in Hebrew

Become fluent in German

Become fluent in Japanese

Learn the tango and the paso doble with a sexy virile man who’d be my husband, because in my best reality I’d have a husband who loves that sort of thing!

Have a hot stone massage

Go for a reiki session

Go to a sauna

Be a regular donator of the shoebox appeal, if I was ever a rich woman I can see me doing hundreds of these boxes at Christmas, I just love kids!  Up until our money got cut badly, I used to do 3 a year.

Have a Indian head massage

Go to the arctic to see wild arctic life, in particular foxes.

Adopt a couple of rescue donkeys

Go to Christmas pantomimes with Henry

Go zorbing

Go on the world’s longest zip wire

Go paintballing

Go to a Centre Parcs holiday

Go on a huge shopping spree offline – I haven’t had one in ages… the last best offline shopping spree I did was £200 for Christmas 2016 and before that it was a £300 clothing only shopping spree in 2010 after I lost 40llbs when Henry was born.  Big contrast to my life before Henry, where £900 a month was a regular treat!  I am way over due for retail therapy.

Buy the latest console with a good set of games!

Go to India with Henry.

Go to Dollyworld with Henry.

Go and swim with the sea turtles with Henry!

Join the women’s institute – used to think I’d like it.

Meeting a huge bunch of celebrities was on my list, too long to mention everyone! 

Take up amateur dramatics again.

Become more active in my party… I’m a member of the labour party and since becoming sick I’ve been inactive – meaning I don’t attend meetings etc. in the village hall anymore and I miss it.

Make sock puppets again

Make puppets for charity

I love Debenham store’s and really wanted to go to one at Christmas with Henry to the biggest one in the UK, but they’ve gone bust as a brand since this list was made!

Go to Hamleys.

Go on the flying Scotsman

Go to a New Year’s Eve party, haven’t been to one since I was 6yrs old!

Go to a Christmas Party, never been to one.

Go to a German Christmas market.

Have an annual un-birthday party – huge fan of Alice in Wonderland, can you tell yet?

Go to the Eden project.

Go to a beach and find fairy glass.

Walk Offas Dike

Walk the entire length of the river Severn as a holiday.

Go to an encounter group

Become proficient in playing the recorder and then moving onto clarinet and saxophone.

Start a YouTube channel

Do a TedTalk, but not sure on what yet lol

Go to the last night of the proms!  BBC proms.

Go shopping in Ross on Wye

Go shopping at Hammersmith again

Go to the Carpathian foothills

Go to Venice for a masquerade and buy lots of Venetian glass and masks!

Go shopping at Covent Garden

Learn to roller-skate!

Learn how to ride a bike!

Go skiing

Go fishing

Holiday on a barge

Party for 3 days on a yacht with a pool!

Go to Styal Woods Wilmslow Cheshire

Go to the Chonqing caves

Go to the Northern Italy black sands caves

Go to Aveline’s Hole – another cave

Go to the Naha suicide tunnels

Go and see the Cheddar Man

Go to Salina Turda Romainia

Go to the Terezia mines in Romainia

Follow the source of the river of Timavo

Go to the Ardia event in Sardinia

Go to a gay pride event

Visit the Karst of canin river and mist forest

Go to the Benin underground city of the Agoji

Go and hear the glaciers sing in Knud Ramussen

Go to Dolly’s desserts in Barnsley

Go to M&M world

Go to China town London

Have cream tea at Fortnum and Mason

Cream tea at the Ritz

Go to American Candyland London

Buy Gucci stuff

Buy Moschino stuff

Buy a Penthouse in London and another in New York or maybe a house in the Hamptons

Go to Duke’s donut shop in Headingley Leeds

Buy Florentine Marble paper

Be on the front cover of Vogue magazine – but I have to get over the fact I am scared of fame first huh?

Start several types of businesses, I have a lot of ideas, but I know it can only be done in baby steps if I want them all to succeed!

Sell merchandise based on my art and stories!

Buy back an ancestral home that’s been turned into a hotel, there’s a handful actually!

Paint with gold leaf

Go to a Holi event – Indian paint throwing

Lose weight and tone up!

Learn to trust and be happy and relaxed!

Thanks for reading!