I never felt I was beautiful
I used to pretend I believed the lies
When others looked in awe at me, with their eyes opened wide
They tagged me beautiful, gorgeous, goddess and all the fancy names
Never once did I believe them, even though I was once vain
It was all a game to me
A game of “let’s pretend”
Perhaps one day I’ll believe them
Let’s try and set the trend
I did my hair and face up, but I felt like I was a clown
I wore a smile on my face, but in my heart I wore a frown
I stared in the mirror to try and see, what others thought they saw
But all I saw was flab and guts and pimples and all the flaws
I couldn’t understand what the heck they saw in me
And still to this day, it puzzles me
Though I’m not like how I used to be
I am heavier and I have aged
I’ve white in my head of hair and the light in my eyes has disengaged
I had let myself go completely, for I thought why bother now?
I’ve passed my best and what’s the point? Fat stupid cow!
But you know, I had a glimmer of hope and it came to me
To pick myself up again
Preen myself and see!
Could I trick myself to believe, that I am something good?
And that I’ve had it all along, though see it – never could!
Can I be so bold to imagine, a life where I agree with you?
That I am a beautiful goddess and I can see it too?
Because right now I don’t see it
Though my eyes are opened wide
And I am staring down the mirror
And I’ve tried and tried and tried
I can’t see the Venus, I can’t see the Belle
My mirror comes from a circus, a circus from Hell
I don’t know why I can’t see it
I don’t know what is wrong
But I know I will keep trying
Maybe I’ll come along?
Who knows one day I’ll see it
But till then I sit confused
And my ego sits all battered, beaten and bruised
Whilst I keep on staring in the mirror that’s from Hell
And wonder why I don’t see the true me – I wish someone could tell
And till then I will keep on trying
To see myself in a better light
Though it’s a real big struggle right now
A historically epic fight
I won’t give up like I did once
I will keep on till I drop
Because I can’t keep seeing the lies can I?
The penny’s got to drop!