I have a bad chest infection again, so it’s back to bed life again until it blows over – oh such fun, you realise of course that was sarcasm?
Another one to three week delay in getting my body into shape, at this rate I won’t be my goal weight until October, it’s more than a little annoying!
What’s frustrating is I was throwing myself into reading and research to try and get me motivated to write again, so that’s been delayed too!
Because when I am sick like this, I can’t read a book and remember what I’ve read, the memory of what I’ve read gets coughed out of me!
The amount of poems I’ve started between Wednesday and today but didn’t finish, because a coughing fit or a sneezing fit literally blew me out of my zone, I tell you it was numerous!
My chest hurts so much, this chest infection actually feels worse than last Easters Covid which is weird, and it’s not Covid though. I am scared to go to the doctor for two reasons, in recent years when I’ve had chest infections the doctor believes its viral and won’t give me antibiotics unless I literally get so bad it turns into pneumonia or pleurisy and I am in A&E with breathing difficulties – or I will get Covid whilst there on top of it.
I can’t afford to spend £10 taxi fares to see a doctor and get no help, what’ more, if a taxi drive sees me having coughing fits, of course he isn’t going to be happy to take me to the doctor – not after Covid issues in the world!
Paul is in agreement with me, it’s one of the worst infections I’ve had in nearly 2yrs, he is saving money the best he can, because we’ve been down this road before – it’s likely in a week or two if it carries on, I will be going to hospital in Coventry which is more than just £10 transport fees then!
What’s more is, Paul will have to leave me there in Coventry hospital alone until I need to come home again, because Paul can’t afford to come and visit me every day and no one else will!
Typing is slower, but it’s getting done.
I need to try and keep to a normal routine, even if my work is my crappiest at this time!
If I make no sense in this post, you can at least appreciate and understand why?
I have 7 library books to read in just 3 weeks, with this illness, there’s no chance in getting them read in time!
I rarely have more than 4 books out from the library these days; this is how serious I was last week about reading and researching to get my work done!
A massive poetry book; a poetry exercise book, a screenwriting book, a book about the senses, a book against procrastination (lol, the irony), atomic habits and eating to extinction. Eating to extinction is both environmental research and personal interest combined with contemplating ideas for Project AD.
Project AD has a beginning, middle and end planned now, but I am not happy with it and it needs to be fleshed out and needs to be more interesting. The novel has not been written, but there are several scenes for a graphic novel done, there are in depth bullet points for 40 different scenes, but there is no actual structure yet. It’s not properly done in my opinion, yet – no dialogue, just action scenes.
I can’t help but have this nagging feeling it needs more.
I know it does need more, I mean, that there should be a sub plot along with it, but I am struggling with this decision.
I tell you how much it’s bothering me, having this chest infection making me slower… I had a dream last night about post-apocalyptic characters from all my favourite movies, especially Mad Max and Tank Girl, I was slow and coughing and serving dinner for people worrying about things as I always do and the biggest Mad Max villain gave me a hug and told me to stop worrying about it all, things will get done in their own time and maybe it’s a sign I should slow down.
There’s those two words I hate again, “slow down”.
Actually it’s quite common to dream about Mad Max villains, they inspire a lot of my stories – usually stories from their perspective.
Because I’ve learned in my life, those psychopaths in society, those who people cross the road to avoid, the social out casts that scare people because they are dressed like goth with “I love Satan” t-shirts or who are Hells Angel Harley Davidson types, in my experience, they have the highest morals and the biggest hearts and are hugely misunderstood!
Some are mean and twisted purely because it was their survival mechanism to be that way. But in reality, they can be very protective and generous people by nature.
I am not suggesting that Mad Max villains are lovely people, but I often wondered what made them that way… how horrible was their lives before the world fell down as it were?
This is not something I am putting into Project AD by the way, this is another project – an adult dystopian – Project AD is a child’s dystopian and is a lot cleaner than my other idea.
As I mentioned in other posts in the past, one of the biggest tropes I love writing are the “descent into madness” tropes.
So yeah, last night in dream time, I was cooking dinner for Tank Girl, Cundalini, Toe Cutter, Gabriel Byrne’s Satan and Lola from Run Lola Run, amongst several others I forgot who!
Oh the throes of a writers mind!
Thanks for reading!