The bliss that once was

Have you forgotten how to laugh?

How words fell out of mouths to bring joy not discontent

For the want of a light hearted time and prosperity

To throw away the darkness of a day and just forget

When did we lose our sense of humour?

When once we frivolously bantered in the want of fun

And nobody took it seriously, the words, mere words spoken by a jester because of sardonic irony

Never any real malice was its intent

And the sun shone bright back then, for we people forgave the attempt to alleviate

When did we all deviate from the light of the world?

When did our blood run cold to jocund distractions and bent ourselves up in anger and bitterness?

When will time show us what we have lost in pleasure?

Cautious to laugh as sacred joy has become a sin

It’s no use now, use it or lose it and we are nearly lost

Lost in the darkness, fearful to inject blithe reflections of the human state

Swamped in the sensitive depressions of those who have strayed from their souls too long

And together we will all stand in the shadows of our former selves

Unthinking, unfeeling and silent

Soon to forget the bliss that once was

What do you see?

So, the huntress is being stalked

I see them in the shadows when I’ve walked

I know they are following my way

I know they are learning how I play

I hear them tittering and I hear them talk

About how far I have walked

But I amusedly walk on

Because they are only a con

I don’t believe what the shadows say

I only believe that they play!

Because why are they hiding away from me?

I think they’re afraid… do you agree?

Too scared to come and talk to me

Or afraid of themselves, now what will it be?

I walk on – maybe forever

But when I hear them… I think…. Whatever!

It’s just a child’s game to you

You enjoy this thing you do

No real intention behind your words

To think there is, would be absurd!

I’ve grown enough to know

The lengths that silly people go

To find amusement in their boring lives

By spreading rumours and lies

I continue on my walk

Maybe someday we will talk?

Maybe not

Why should I care?

If you are still watching from over there?

No business of mine what you do

Unless there are lies that you spew

If there are lies, why did you do that?

Have I offended you?

If I have, then tell me how?

I don’t remember our spat…

I was just walking this lonely path

I didn’t mean to fill you with wrath

I am just ambling through my life

I didn’t mean to cause discontent or strife

So why do you follow and why do you talk?

About me on my path and where I walk?

I don’t understand your mind at all

Maybe I am just a fool

But I am curious why me?

And why so interested you be?

I don’t get it, so I continue on

All these games make me feel wan

It has simply gone on too long

And I need to know, why me?

I am unassuming and I am plain

I have nothing to lose or gain

I sleepwalk through this life of mine

Literally just biding time

I’m bored with life and I have lost my spark

It isn’t fair, if you just lark

I just want to get through my life

Without any more cuttings from a knife

I just want to stop bleeding

I just want to stop needing

I just want the pain to go

I am tired of hate and woe

I live in the shadows for a reason

I have been burned by the hot season

No longer do I wish to feel

My only wish is to heal

My second wish is to remember one thing

What it was like to be happy and sing?

Is that so much to ask of life?

I’m fighting against the after-life

But I am losing strength and heart in that

The deep blue is my habitat

I just wish I knew the truth about you

Why do you watch this creature blue?

What fascination is there about me?

I look in the mirror but I don’t see…

What curiosity is there in me?

Except of course, to capture me…

I like rainbows

I like rainbows

You can’t get them without the darkness

You can’t get them without the rain

You can’t get them without your shadows

But they can heal your pain

I like rainbows

They are fun and they are pretty

They put smiles on sad faces

And they colour our drab cities

I like rainbows

They shine bright through the air

They might be nothing to you

But for me they show God cares

Blessed stinging eyes

My eyes are stinging with the breaking of my heart

All joy is vacant here

The shadows are inviting me to a party

But I decline

The light offers me its blessings

But I deny

I am OK in this state

For in this state I am learning

I don’t always know what my lesson is

But to me

To me I will learn in any case

Eventually…

I don’t wallow in self-pity and sadness

To me everything is education

Although I am swallowed up by tears, I feel blessed

I have a blessed life

Things could be much worse than this

Gratitude goes a long way

Even if you don’t enjoy what it is you have

At least things are not worse than this

That is why I am blessed

Flying wolves don’t follow

You hide behind a rider, riding in the night

You dream of wolves a flying but they are in your soul tonight

You dream of being a cowboy, you dream that you are the king

But I know that in your heart, there is a girl who softly sings

Why, oh why did you leave me?

Why, oh why indeed?

You left me for a dream and then you ignored me

Why did you leave me?  When we were really strong?

Why did you turn away, what did I do wrong?

I say, it wasn’t you it was completely me

I wanted to let you go, so that you could be free

I couldn’t let you see the path that I have now took

Because if you saw the truth, your soul will be shook

You are delicate and fragile; this road is not for you

You have no idea of the dangers if I spoke to you

So please keep away from me, don’t hide behind a mask

I know it is hard for you, but please do this task

For I ride with devils, that will tear your soul apart

Please do not save me, for it will break your heart

Now my song is over, I hope you’ve heard me well

Just keep away from my life because you’ll fall as well

I don’t need a saving, because I am in the right place

I know it’s dark and hellish and full of disgrace

But I need you to stay right where you are

Because you’re far prettier without a scar

So listen to my song

Listen hard and know

That you shouldn’t be around me, so now please go

This was written as a country western song, but it was also written for a friend. Unfortunately we had to part ways because we weren’t good for each others mental health – but some people cling to hope, when there is none. Sorry.

If I die I would have blown it

The world is such a painful place to live in

But I do not welcome death

Though I threat and say I’ll do things

I fight for every breath

Though suicide has occurred to me

I will never do it

Because a fresh start could always happen

If I die I would have blown it

The memories I have are sad, violent, awful and cruel

I don’t like them, but they made me a better person – invincible

I cry for others who hurt me, but really my tears are blood

I wish I could cry a river and drown them in a flood

Though I sigh at my drama and I sigh at the hate

I remind myself of their ignorance and ignorance makes mistakes

Do I care and love them?  Sometimes it’s hard to tell

With these thoughts am I saved or am I doomed to Hell?

I laugh at the wonder, I cry for the unlearned

I wander into darkness and dream of a world upturned

Realities are shifting into worse or better things?

I don’t know this moment, but a new life I am yearning

Though the shadow of death always follows me

I walk away from it in hope of finding glee

I dance on the edge of the shadows of death

Because I keep on fighting to keep my life and breath

Shadows stop, I will fade away

Save me from this cruel world

With heartless people and all the ills

Save me from this cruel world

It takes a lot for me not to down these pills

The shadows you see on the walls

Cover me entirely

I am drowning in their darkness and their sorrows

I can’t take it anymore

Take me out of this world’s door

I implore, I implore

Madness slowly seeping in

When will comfort begin?

Hello shadows drowning me

Go away if you please

But if you do not and you stay

I will surely fade away

I can’t take it anymore, please take me out of life’s doors

The darkness is slowly taking over

Please help me to recover

Unless I die in your arms tonight

I will not be free

Madness slowly seeping in

When will comfort begin?

Hello Shadows drowning me

Go away if you please

But if you do not and you stay

I will surely fade away

Inktober day 5

Sorry to say I am a little embarrassed by today’s inktober post, it is lazy, because originally I didn’t want to do the art; only for an hour later for me to decide I would do something better, but since Posted that on DeviantArt.com already, my better picture didn’t get to come up as an inktober entry, I am a stickler like that!

So the rubbish and lazy art got the inktober day 5 title.

The silhouette of twilight is mine.

Henry did a wonderful space pirate, but he can’t enter the contest as he is under age; there is a space pirate character contest on Deviant Art right now which ends 31st October 2019 and must include a family logo, a special hat and a weapon.  You get to win a year core subscription and a wacom tablet if you win.  I wanted to do that, but I really don’t like the idea that it sounds like they are only after digital art, I am a traditional artist.

Inktober entry day 5.

 

Henry’s space pirate for inktober day 5

The first time that I saw you

The first time that I saw you
You took my heart away
You restored my faith in humanity when I was learning to hate
It’s been so long since I felt this way
I thought it could never be
But the first time I saw your face you was the one for me!
You broke away my shadows of all the years I’ve suffered alone
You took my hand and guided me, to a place I never roamed.

shadows of the brook

There is an effervescent brook running through the forest
Green shimmers along its bumpy waves and shadows of bygone days
Moss upon rocks gives shelter to life, frogs sit upon them and they know no strife
The cackles of the woodland tease and frolic during the day
Always happy and larking, always in play
The shadows of the brook is always this way