My blog exists because I wanted an outlet to write about my life and my journey in defining myself; I also wanted a place to put short stories and poetry as and when I did them.
Nothing is edited, nothing gets a second or third draft and that doesn’t mean I don’t care about my craft or care about my readers; it’s that I care about putting words out into the world freestyle on a format, to get them out of my system.
I want and need one place in the world where I am not expected to be perfect, but having the knowledge that I am being listened to, even if it’s only by a couple of people!
I take more care in other places where I write.
I don’t use this blog as a promotional website, because I am not yet in the process of promoting any work!
I need this space to freely write, without thinking about grammatical errors and punctuation or even stressing over the content and its exact execution!
As a creator, when I write outside of this blog – I am more cautious, I am very stressed because from the first draft, into the second, into the third, I am stressing all the time about every single word and every single phrase, every character, dialogue, punctuation mark and how well its executed that it sometimes burns me out worrying about it all.
This blog exists to do away with that, whilst not stunting the process of writing.
So I don’t burn out entirely from my creative pursuits.
This blog is not a promotional piece.
This blog isn’t even what I set out for it to be!
I had fully planned when I started this blog that I would write one short story a week without fail! That I would write two or three poems a week without fail, with daily updates on my life and other creative pursuits – photography, art, updating about my bigger projects, the novels, the song writing, the musical compositions and my foray into finding myself and my fashion interests!
None of that has happened.
In the time I’ve written this blog I should have published 500 short stories by now and approximately 1800 poems and 500 life updates amongst other things – but instead, I think there’s only been about 10 short stories over the years and half of those were deleted to put elsewhere in the world, edited!
This website is dominated by poetry and that wasn’t the goal either, it was meant to be a mixture of art and fantasy short stories mostly, with an emphasis on life updates and personal journey of self-discovery!
I’m forty two years old in October; I’m easily stressed by the concept of having to be perfect at my craft, my work, my housekeeping – I need stress free outlets like this blog to keep me sane and focused on freedom of expression, without picky little people demanding I be perfect as they take it as a personal slight as my reader if I appear too carefree in how its written!
I’m not going to apologise for not making this as pristine as a book, because my blog is NO reflection on the work I produce in a book! The qualities of my poems I think are higher and that’s not a slight on you as my blog readers – that’s just me being picky with myself.
I don’t need others to be picky about me too!
I’m already far too hard on myself – to listen to that!
I know those who have commented to me about my work are either trolls or they are trying to sell me the proofreading services; I’m not an idiot, I know the quality of this blog by professional standards – sucks!
But this blog is meant to be freestyle, carefree, freedom of expression, a place to talk and laugh and cry without judgement.
I don’t need proof-readers coming here making me feel bad about my standard of craft.
Because they haven’t seen the painstaking work I’ve done outside the blog, have they?
As I haven’t allowed it to be exist for seven years; I used to be an article writer for several places online and even a Wikipedia contributor.
I have had one book published when I was in my early twenties, but it is out of print now. It was only a fifty page horror story about the biggest monster in the history of horror that has never been considered a monster… humanity itself.
Outlining all their faux pas and the horrible things they’ve done to other creatures over the years, especially those creatures they’ve demonised or hunted to extinction!
I have a copy here in my house, I have been thinking about doing a rewrite as I feel there’s a lot more to add to it.
But who knows?
I am called The Tardy Creative for a reason.
Tardy in my creations because of two things… mental health getting in the way and too many ideas pushing each other out; that I am like a kid in a candy store running here and there capturing whatever I can and then finding out I only have such and such room left in my bag; maybe put this back and add that and take that out too because this is much better and so on!
In my time writing this blog I have had 189 novel ideas and have only half completed approximately 7 which are non-vampire based or children’s picture books and a further 11 which are still in their first quarter!
I’ve had about 50 short story ideas but only completed approximately 20 and less than 10 were published here!
To every three poems I write at least one is never published anywhere!
This blog is 11yrs old.
It’s all approximations above, I am probably completely wrong – but I do know about there being 189 unique story ideas because I have a story idea journal with half page synopsis for each of them and that’s how many I’ve had since this blog existed!
Thing is… I’ve lost that blooming journal! I’ve got a new idea to add to it, so I should say 190!
I’ve got a feeling I’ve packed it in one of the boxes to protect it from damage as there’s issues in the house…
Well I blooming hope I have in any case!
I should really add those to my cloud so if I lose it again it’s no big deal!
Anyway, I just needed to get this off my chest!
It was brewing for a couple of hours and then I read something online again about proofreading and professionalism in your blog and it kind of set me off a bit!
I’m getting incredibly hot-headed as I am getting older, lol.
I can see me being part of the panel of “grumpy old women” someday!
Actually all jokes aside I’ve spoken to one of the panel and she’s actually quite a good laugh – not dropping names!
Anyway!
Thanks for reading!
tardycreative.com 